New beginning
by Kay999
Summary: New girl comes to town. Will Charming and a certain VP turn out to be a new beginning for her or will the past be too much? I don't own Sons of Anarchy.
1. Chapter 1

Ok. I'm hoping I'll be able to write a longer story staring Chibs. I've never written anything longer than the story I posted a few days ago, so I'm not sure how it will turn out. So please, your reviews, comments, thoughts are more than welcome.

Also I want to apologize. My first story was porn fiction and this one will be too. If I have offended anyone with it I apologize. Its just that to me Chibs/T.F. is sex on legs so I can't help it.  
I'm not native speaker so if you catch any semantic/grammatical/spelling mistakes please point them out so I don'r repeat them.  
That being said, hope you'll enjoy it.

God damn it! Just what I needed!. Shit, shit, shit!

The stupid car died right before Charming and I was already late. I got out to the blistering heat and popped open the hood to see if it's something I could fix. Since I know nothing about cars I just managed to burn my fingers like an idiot and bump my head on the hood when I heard a male voice behind me.

"Car troubles, love?"

"Shit and fuck", I hissed shaking my hand and pressing my head.

The voice belonged to a tall, scruffy looking biker with goatee, grayish hair that he kept slid back from his face. He took of his helmet and sunglasses and looked at me with amusement in dark eyes. I saw scars on his cheeks but instead of being repulsed or freaked, I thought he looked kinda sexy.

"Yeah. It just died. Can you take a look?"

He grinned. "Sure love, I'll look at it but I can tell you from here it won't do you any good. The radiator is gone and I can't fix that here"

Shit, shit, shit.

I sighed pissed off. It was my fault, taking a road trip in a shitty truck instead of flying in and then taking a bus. But, I needed time for myself. I was so burned out that driving across the country seemed like a good idea. And it was until now.

"Great. You don't happen to know a number to a mechanic shop in Charming, do you?"

He grinned again. "As a matter of fact. I'm working in one such institution. TM's. I'll call them to come and pick up your truck".

Thank you God! "Thanks, that would be great"

He flipped his phone open and dialed a number and I used that opportunity to call Oswald and tell him I'm running late.

"Hi, it's me. Yes, I know I'm late. I'm sorry I lost sense of time. Yes Elliot, I am aware I'm a day late. I'll be even later because the fucking car died. Yes, some biker stopped and helped me out. I'm waiting for the tow truck to come".

"What biker guy" he roared in my ear.

I saw the man look at me amused so I came a few steps closer to check his cut.

"Sons of Anarchy VP. Don't tell me you know them Elliot", I teased and almost chocked from laughing when he hissed at me to give the phone to Chibs.

"Oswald wants to talk to you", I said to the man who raised an eyebrow and took the cell. I watched him as he said "aha" and "yep" and "don't worry". He hung up and gave me the phone.

"How on Earth do you know Oswald?", he asked and now I had to laugh.

"I was just about to ask you the same question. Elliot I knew was way to vanilla for you guys".

"Well?" he asked, genuinely interested, or so he looked.

"I had an affair with him years ago"

The man roared from laughter and eyed me from head to toe.

"Good for Elliot", he said.

I'm no beauty but I'm decent looking, petite, 36 year old former reporter who had had enough of writing about wars, conflicts and misery and was now opening a bar in Charming. I had no delusions of being some gorgeous dragon lady but the way he scanned me pissed me off.

"It was", I snapped making him laugh a bit more. "How about you VP? How do you know Oswald?"

"Oh, Sons know everyone in Charming", he said.

"Ah"

I knew about SOA from what Elliot told me years ago. They ran the town and kept it safe from "progress" in form of Macdonalds. Starbucks, shopping malls, but also drugs and gangs. From what I gathered in the past few years, situation changed a bit, but they were still the rulers of the town. I had to admit I shared their point of view and that was the reason I asked a favor from Elliot, to sell me one of his properties to open a bar in a small town.

"I'm Ro Drake"

He looked at my hand then me and then he took of his glows and we shook hands. I liked how his hand felt - strong and big and callused and warm. He kept quiet so I pushed a bit.

"Usually, people say hi and their name. I think it's the same here and in Scotland. But I can call you VP if you prefer".

"Chibs. Chibs Telford. How did you know about Scotland? People here usually take me for Irish".

I smiled. There was no mistaking his "r" for Irish. And that "smile" he got God knows how. I worked with SWAT guys in Boston for a few months and even dated one of them and saw my fair share of "Glasgow smiles" but it struck me every time the brutality and the horror of that particular attack. Slashing ones face into a smile.

"I lived in Boston for a while and Scotland too. There is no way I could mistake that accent and those scars", I answered bluntly. At first I thought playing dumb would be better but somehow this man didn't bring up sympathy in me but more a fuzzy, warm feeling in my lower belly.

He was interested enough. His eyebrows went up and he smiled a bit.

"So Ro, is that short from something?"

"Rowena. Don't ask. My parents were choosing between Rouanna and Rowena. Hippy shit", I smiled. "My turn - I seriously doubt your mama called you shiv, so what's your given name VP?"

"You do know your way around slang. Its Filip but nobody calls me that."

"Shame. Its a good name and suits you", I smiled. "Look. I can't call you Chibs, its just to cruel considering all that" I said pointing to his scars. "How about VP?"

"Whatever", he said and shrugged. "So Ro, what are you doing in Charming?"

"Opening a bar."

"You don't look like bartender to me".

I grinned. "No, but I love bars and have spent many happy hours in them"

We both laughed and I liked the sound of his laughter. He made me feel safe. He offered me a smoke and I took it. When I leaned to light it I could smell him - the smoke, and fuel and leather and a touch of aftershave. He smelled good. We leaned on my truck which was full of my stuff. He peeked at them curious. Most of the boxes were filled with books and cameras.

"So? Bartender you ain't"

Don't you think that a bit of mystery is good?", I teased but then added "I was a reporter once but decided I have had it and moved here".

"Reporter? What kind?"

"Covered every conflict, disaster and volatile situation you could imagine"

"Adrenaline junkie?"

I sighed. That was one way of looking at things. The other was I loved my job until recently and was fearless and good at it. "You could say that"

"So why quit?"

"I saw way to many dead and massacred and unhappy. And, as I said, I love bars. Plus, I can annoy Oswald's wife a bit further. He's a great guy but that gash of his is a pain in the ass."

Chibs smiled and nodded. I could see clogs in his head processing everything.

"You plan to return to Oswald?"

I had to laugh. "Christ, no! We had a thing 15 years ago. I love him very much but seriously, can you see the two of us together?"

He eyed me again from the soles of my worn Chuck Taylor's, across my legs in jeans, white tank top to my messy bun. I always wore my hair short, made my life easier, but after Haiti I decided to let it grow longer.

"Not sure. Elliot is full of surprises. How old are you Ro?"

"You know you shouldn't as a woman that question. I'm 36"

"You don't look like 36 year old woman. You look like a kid, compared to me"

"Why thank you VP. And how old are you?"

"49"

"My, my, you are ancient" I teased him.

I liked his company. Felt at ease with him. We smoked in silence, until the tow truck came. I had to remind myself to close my mouth when I saw a tall, scary looking guy with a snake tattoo on his head get out. Chibs and him hugged and then returned to me.

"So what's the problem bitch?", the spooky guy literary growled at me.

"VP here says the radiator is gone, baldy."

Chibs chuckled and the man's head snapped back and he looked at me half pissed of half amused. He came a step closer, towering over me. Like any alpha dog, he pissed his territory so I decided not to move an inch.

"Keys, bitch"

"Call me a bitch one more time and I'll bite you", I told him handing him the keys.

The man first looked at me shocked and then he began laughing. It was a strange, spooky laughter - hoarse and more a bark than anything else. He had nice, white teeth and generally was good looking apart from the psycho look, tattoos, attitude and the rest.

"I like this bitch Chibs", he said turning to Chibs and I saw my chance and in a few moves send him on his ass. I knew he could send me flying anytime so bit him lightly on the cheek then kissed it. "I'm Ro" before giving him a hand. "Please don't call me bitch again."

He took my hand and got to his feet. He checked me out serious but not angry. Then he hugged me and before I could move kissed me on the mouth. "Happy's the name, darling". He let me go, took my keys and began loading my truck.

I saw Chibs grin. "It's like watching a freak show", he said and I hit him, not to hard, on his biceps. "Oh shut up. What about that gay hug of yours"

We both laughed. Then Chibs turned to me. "Take a pick - bike with me or truck with Happy."

"Like you have to ask."

He laughed. I took my bag and a helmet from Chibs and sat behind him. God I love Harleys. I wiggled my ass a bit so I could press closer to Chibs. "You ok?" he asked over his shoulder. I couldn't stop grinning and just nodded my head.

We took off and I bit my lips not to scream from joy. Nothing like a bike ride to make you feel free. Somewhere along the ride I pressed closer to him and literary hugged him, leaning my cheek on his back and closing my eyes. It felt so good leaning on a man for a change. Unfortunately I realized that only when we stopped.

I got off the bike as quick as possible and my face was bright red when I have him back his helmet and saw the glee in his eyes.

"I gather you like bikes. Or is it me?" he teased.

"Both" I answered without thinking and turned even redder if possible. Thankfully a woman dressed in leather came. She scanned me completely and smirked.

"My office if you please"

"Yes mam", I answered and grinned when she gave me a poisonous look. I got inside a small office, walls covered predictably with pictures of naked girls and waited while she talked with Happy and Chibs. She walked in a few minutes more and gave me a half smile.

"I hear you threw Happy on his ass"

"And I got a kiss to prove it"

She laughed. "I'm Gemma Teller"

"Ro Drake"

We finished the dull paperwork. My car will be ready in a few days. Now I needed to somehow get to Oswald's.

"Chibs will take you. You can leave your stuff here, we'll send them to you"

"That would be great. Thanks. I'll call on Friday to see if I can pick up my truck"

Chibs was waiting for me. I noticed a bunch of other leather clad bikers around TM, including one fat guy and a blonde pretty boy. They approached me and Chibs introduced me.

"This here is Ro. She's opening a bar here in Charming thanks to Oswald. She also threw Happy on his arse earlier", he said.

The blonde guy smiled lazily and shook hands with me. "I''m Jax Teller. Nice to meet you. I guess we'll be seeing each other a bit more cause your bar is pretty close to TM"

I nodded and caught "president" patch on his cut. The fat guy eyed me suspiciously.

"Darling, you don't look like a bartender to me", he said. "I'm Bobby"

I smiled at him and whispered mockingly. "I promise, I'll put on some tits and low cut T when we see each other the next time".

That made him laugh. "Nice to meet you Ro"

I nodded and waited for Chibs to turn on his bike again. When I sat behind him he opened his cut so I could tuck my hands under his shirt. I raised my eyebrow curious to what he was planing.

"Its quite a ride to there and If you plan to hug me the whole time, I'd like to be handled properly, love".

Bobby, Jax and I couldn't stop laughing. "You ass", was all I managed to say, embarrassed and amused at the same time.

It was a great ride. The bike was purring like a big cat and the man riding it was comfortable on it. I could feel the warmth of his skin and the hair on his stomach. I could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady,under my arms and chest as I pressed closer against him. The town was charming, with small houses, a few streets and kids playing there. We passed by a police patrol but they let us go. We finally turned from the road to a small path in the woods and came to Oswald's place.

I deliberately grazed Chibs' skin with my nails and smiled innocently at him before turning to Elliot. He looked good. Tired and old but well taken care off. I hugged him and kissed him lightly.

"You look good Elliot", I told him, caressing his cheek.

He kissed my palm and smiled. "I'm glade you came. Come, met my girls"

I hesitated a bit. "You sure?"

"Yeah, they'll be happy to see you"

"I bet they would", I said cursing under my breath.

Elliot turned to Chibs and I watched them talk like old acquaintances. Chibs shook his head and turned to me.

"Oswald will get you home love", he said. "I have some shit to do"

I nodded. I knew Oswald balanced on a fine line between law and outlaws and had no problem with it. I never expected any businessman to be spotless. Elliot had his flaws but was a decent man and I knew Sons helped him out with his girl when she was raped.

"Stay safe VP" I said.

"What? No kiss for me", he teased. "You kissed Happy", he mockingly accused me.

I laughed while Elliot fumed. "That lunatic?"

"Relax Elliot, it wasn't what you think", I calmed him down and leaned to Chibs.

I planned to kiss him on his cheek but he moved his head and the kiss landed on his lips. I heard Elliot his in the background but didn't care. The feel of his lips was unbelievable. They were soft and warm and so kissable. I fought the urge to pull him closer and instead bit his lower lip.

I smiled at his surprised face and planted a quick peck on his nose before turning to Elliot.

"See you later VP" I added across my shoulder. He blew me a kiss and rode off.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, did you have a nice ride with that gash", Gemma asked.

She saw Chibs arrive earlier, all pensive and quiet and all the alarm bells began ringing. I was the first time in ages since she saw Chibs flirt and laugh with some civilian and she didn't miss the grin on his face when she asked him to give her a ride to Oswald's place.

She wasn't quite sure what to think about Ro. She wasn't some naive girl and she clearly impressed Happy and Chibs was also smitten, but there was something about her Gemma couldn't figure out.

"She's not a gash, Gemma ", Chibs answered and continued drinking his beer. "And, yes I had a nice ride"

"And you're hoping for another one?"

Chibs looked at her and the look he gave her made her bite her tongue.

"And what if I am?"

"I'm worried about you sweetheart. And I don't trust that girl"

Chibs smirked. "Thanks Gemma, but I'm not a child and you don't trust her because she's not afraid of you".

"No, darling. You're not a child but I care about you and I don't want to see you hurt. This is the first time I've seen you show interest in some chick since Fionna."

He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Don't worry, love. I'm not interested"

When Gemma left him, Chibs continued thinking about Ro. He liked her. She was funny and smart and capable and he liked that but he wasn't interested. Or so he thought until Happy came.

"So? Was she a hellcat in the sack?"

"I wouldn't know Happy boy"

Happy eyed him curiously.

"I thought you were interested. But if you're not, mind if I give her a try"

"Go for it", Chibs answered dryly but the idea of Ro an Happy together made him fume from rage.

He could still smell her, the heavy, sweet oriental scent of her perfume and the discreet scent of her skin he caught when she leaned for the light. He could still feel her body pressed against his, her hands against his skin and hear her laugh during the ride. When she leaned to kiss him he deliberately turned his head so the  
kiss would land on his lips. She tasted like cherries.

You old fart, he said to himself. Ro was young and full of life. He saw how at ease she was with the guys. She could pick anyone of them so why would she settle for someone like him, a middle age outlaw with a record and nothing to offer? Forget her Telford, he said out loud and went to pick a couple of crows.

I was sweating under the heap of boxes that TM sent. Elliot already moved in the stuff for the bar. Jax was right. It was close to TM's and I caught myself looking occasionally for Chibs. Its been a few days and he didn't show up. Happy and Bobby came, as well as Tig, a crazy eyed psycho whom I just had to adore, and Juice, a nice kid who looked way too troubled.

Happy made his move the first day, pining me to a wall and staring at me with that dark eyes of his.

"That was a nice move you did on me, darling. But I can teach you some more", he said hoarsely, one arm blocking my exit, the other touching my jaw. I could hardly breathe or think under his gaze. He was smoking hot and I was sure it would have been a hell of a ride but instead of his face all I could see was Filip's.

Help came in form of Tig who was helping me in the bar "Ro, you gorgeous pussy, he's a killer in the ring but in the sack he's a pussy cat. If you want fun, I'm you guy",he roared from the bar.

Happy grunted and let go of me and I had to laugh.

"Tiggy my darling, I'm afraid I'm way to alive and way too little equipped for your liking", I roared back at the same time pushing Happy away. It was like I was trying to move a mountain and the feel of his rock hard muscles was electrifying. He caught my wrist and grinned, "We'll talk later", he promised before letting me go.  
I let go of my breath, trying to calm myself before returning to work.

I liked the Sons. I had no delusion about who they were,nor did I have some romantic notion of them being outlaws with golden heart but I liked this made me laugh and I liked how I felt around all of them - young and carefree and a little sexy.

The guys helped me out tremendously and I managed to set the bar a lot quicker than I planed. As Elliot poisonously said, they wanted a place to drink and my bar was the only one in a 15 km radius. I was totally fine with that.

Bobby introduced me to Lyla. She was a former porn actress and a wife od their dead member Oppie. She had three kids and we got along well. I liked her and she looked way better than me so she will be the bait for the crowds.

I co owned a bar in Boston for a few years ans knew what I needed and she was one of the things. The others were cheap enough booze, which I got thanks to mine and Elliot's connections and good music. Bobby offered to do Elvis covers which I accepted as it was too good to pass and Juice hooked me up with some demo bands who were decent enough.

Since competition was scarce and I had the protection of the Sons in exchange for a permanent table in the bar I expected my little endeavor would be a success.  
Still, everything tasted sour as Filip never came.

I went to the shop on Friday to pick up my car. I changed dozen of times, half hoping Chibs would be there, half hoping he won't. He obviously wasn't interested and the "something" I felt between us was only in my head. I should just forget about him and get on with my life. But I couldn't.

He was there all right. This time in his work clothes, cursing over a bike.

"Come on you shit. Move!"

I sneaked to him and leaned closer. "Maybe if you say please"

He jumped and turned around.

"Christ Ro, you almost gave me a heart attack"

"Sorry. I keep forgetting you're ancient"

He laughed and went through his pockets for smokes. He took two, lit them and gave me one. It was something he did unconsciously but I liked it. It was like some stuff from old movies and I found that very romantic.

"Came for the truck?"

"Yes, if its ready"

"It is. I worked on it. That's one piece of crap you have Ro"

"I know but I love it. Its been with me longer than most of the men I dated"

He grinned. "Free bird, aren't ya"

"Nah, just haven't found the right cage"

He nodded and kept quiet. We smoked in silence for a while.

"You never came with the rest of the guys to my place".

"Been busy" he brushed me off.

"I see", I said. "Well, I won't keep you from your work"

I got up to leave but he stopped me.

"Do you have any plans tonight?"

"No. Why"

"How about dinner and a drink? And a ride, of course. I know how much you like my Dina" he smiled. The dimples in his cheeks deepened and the eyes glowed. Fucking sexy! I wanted to play it cool but couldn't contain a delighted grin.

"Sure. Pick me up around eight?"

"I will, love"

I went to my car hoping I'm not dancing while walking and I couldn't help and turned around to see him watching me. He grinned and so did I. Like two stupid school children.

"If you continue grinning like that, you'll get permanent lines around your mouth" Gemma warned me.

I was so blind to everything else I haven't seen her approach.

"Don't know what you mean ma'm"

"Oh, don't bullshit me girl. I've seen the way you and Chibs look at each other. I'm warning you, if you hurt him I'll make you pay"

"Warning taken", I told her coldly. "Now let me warn you. Put your nose in my affairs ever again and I'll break it".

The bitch pissed me off. She opened her mouth to say something but I got into my car and drove off, trying to catch a glimpse of Chibs in my rear view mirror and grinning like an idiot. He likes me!


	3. Chapter 3

**This is what happens when you're stuck at home with a flu. You update on daily basis.**  
**Hope you'll like it. Again, your comments, thoughts are more than welcome.**

I was useless the rest of the day. I dropped things or just forgot about them in mid action. I changed my clothes every five minutes although my entire wardrobe consisted of a few pairs of jeans and dozen shirts. I was never a big dresser and because of the job I did I had to be able to pack quickly and light.

Finally I choose the only evening looking shirt I had - a silk, low cut green blouse and a favorite, well worn pair of jeans. I even put on some make up. I was ready almost an hour earlier which, unfortunately, gave me enough time to think and therefore begin to question and doubt myself.  
What the hell was I doing?

"This place is shaping up nice"

He startled me. I was so deep in my thoughts, siting in a half finished bar, that I didn't even hear him come in. I got up and tried to smile.

"Yeah. Happy and Tig and Juice were really great and helped a lot. Even Bobby came but he's more in the way."

Chibs grinned. "I bet he was. The guys are all in love with you"

Now it was my turn to grin. "I seriously doubt it. It's the promise of free booze and a peek at Lyla's cleavage they love"

He shook his head but said nothing. He watched me intensely.

"What's wrong Ro?"

"Nothing"

He lit up a cigarette and leaned on the counter, waiting.

I cleared my throat, suddenly nervous. "Look VP, we don't have to go if you don't want to..."

He frowned, confused. "Why wouldn't I want to go?" He grabbed my hand and puled me out. "Let's go before you get another great idea".

I sat behind him on his Harley and teasingly asked "over or under?" I could feel him laugh under my hands. He took off his glows, took my hands in his and put them under his jacket. And we were off.

I relaxed during the ride and again pressed closer to him. I felt him press my hands closer to his body and my heart skipped a beat. Right or wrong, it felt good and I'll be damned if I'm going to chicken out.

He took me to a proper honky tonk bar outside Charming. Country music, bikers, truckers and whores. I loved it and told him so. He looked at me trying to decide if I was faking it but when he saw I was serious he laughed out loud.

"Christ, you're killing me". He waved to a fat bartender and showed him to a table in the corner, a bit away from the crowd. We sat and soon a pretty waitress with pert tits and tight ass appeared, drooling over Chibs, to take our order.

"Molly love, ribs and beer for me and Ro" He looked at me. "Is that ok with you?"

"Yeah, it's great" I said.

Molly threw me a murderous look and went and I had to laugh.

"Shit VP, she's going to spit on my ribs or beer"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you serious? She was all over you and there you were 'Molly, love ribs and beer'" I tried to imitate his accent and couldn't stop laughing at his half shocked half offended face.

"It wasn't like that. She knows we were never serious"

I roared with laughter and felt tears running down my face. "VP you really are and idiot. She's a kid and being with an bad boy biker is her idea of romance. Do you really think she's been listening to what you told her between fucking her? She probably imagined the whole life for the two of you. And now you brought me here".

He looked so hurt and clueless and I had to laugh again. I was still giggling when Molly appeared with our order. I quickly replaced the plates and gave her my sweetest smile making her fume from anger and Chibs trying to hide his laughter with cough. "You are and evil woman, Ro".

"Better safe than sorry VP".

The ribs were great and so was the conversation. We talked about Charming and Scotland, my work and bikes but stayed clear of "sensitive" topics like Sons' businesses, the real reason why I came here.

He seemed more at ease than in TM or with the Sons. He smiled and laughed more and I tried to make him laugh just so I could enjoy the way his dimples showed or how his eyes got that devilish spark.

We somehow miraculously disappeared from Molly's section so the bartender who owned the joint and whose name was, surprise surprise, Joe, waited on us. It turned out we had mutual acquaintances in Boston so he joined us as well. I caught a disappointed look on Chibs' face and smiled to myself.

"Come Ro, lets dance", Joe pulled me to the dancefloor ignoring my protests. They were playing some fast country song and he moved surprisingly graceful for someone so big. I twisted and turned and danced and laughed until I was out of breath and then I decided that my date was resting long enough.

"Come VP, dance with me"

"No, no and no. I don't dance".

"The hell you don't! You let Joe drag me to a dancefloor to some country two step and enjoyed the show. Don't deny it, I saw you grin! Now make it up to me", I tugged his hand until he got up.

He span me a few times and danced pretty good for someone who doesn't dance. I was still grinning when they began playing "Bird on the wire" and he puled me closer.

Suddenly the mood changed from carefree and light to something more...sensual. He was taller than me so my head was somewhere in line with his chest. I could see a part of his tattoo peaking from his shirt. He took my chin with his thumb and index finger and moved my head up so I could look him in the face. He wasn't smiling anymore and I when I looked in his eyes I was lost to everyone around us. I couldn't hear the music nor see the couples dancing.

All I could hear was the beating of my heart. All I could see were his eyes and all I could fell was his body against mine, the slow movement of it, his hand on the small of my back, the warmth of it.

I wanted to close my eyes for a second, to enjoy his warmth, to take in his scent - a combination of leather, cigarettes, whiskey, gas and aftershave but I was afraid of doing something stupid so I kept them open, trying to remain cool while my entire body vibrated and my skin felt like it was on fire.

The song ended before it began and he whispered in my ear: "Wanna go for a ride?"

This time I put my hands under his shirt without asking and rested my head on his back while we rode in the night. We ended up on a dirt road and stopped on a cliff looking at the ocean.

I could hear the water and smell the salt air and feel the rapid beatings of my heart. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself, half hoping he'll take me in his arms and kiss me, half dreading that I'm just imagining things and that I'll make a fool of my self.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to see big, yellow moon reflecting in the ocean.

"Its beautiful VP". I managed to say. I wanted to tease him about bringing all his dates here but when I turned I saw him watch me with unreadable look on his face. He was leaning on his bike, immobile, cigarette in one glowed hand. And all my witty remarks just disappeared from my mind.

I smiled, unsure what to do. "So..."

He finished his smoke and slowly approached me. I swallowed hard when he towered over me and closed my eyes when he touched my cheek. I felt his lips on mine and pressed closer. He wrapped his arms around me, one hand in my hair, holding my head still. His lips were soft and warm. I could feel his goatee tickling me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, puling him on me. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue searching for mine. I could taste the whiskey and smokes on it and it drove me insane. I wanted to taste all of him and I wanted to let him taste me. Our tongues met and he took over, searching, teasing, claiming.

With each kiss, the hot ball of desire in my lower belly grew bigger and bigger. I pressed against him, touching his scared cheeks, running my hands through his hair. I was on fire and only he could put it out. He grabbed my hair and pulled away from me, hunger and desire in his eyes.

"Ro...", his voice was hoarse and tensed.

He pressed his forehead on mine and I could feel his whole body tremble. Before I could do or say anything, he pulled me to his bike.

I barely had time to sit and we were flying, scenery a dark blur. We pulled by a small house in the outskirts of Charming. He took my hand and pulled me to the door which he unlocked with trembling hands.

Once we were in he pushed me to the door and leaned on his arms, watching me intensely.

"I want you Ro. If you aren't sure, love, leave now", he said through his clenched teeth, the accent even more showing.

I don't think I was ever more sure in anything. I kissed him with everything I got and he scooped me in his arms and carried me to his bedroom, his lips devouring mine, his arms holding me tight.


	4. Chapter 4

**So here you go: one PG18+,so-not-pc, hopefully sexy, porn chapter. Enjoy!**  
**Need I say this? Feedback please!**

He laid me on the bed, covering me with his body, his lips claiming mine, tracing my jaw and moving to my neck.

I felt his hands everywhere, searching, touching. I needed to feel his skin so i began tugging and puling his cut and then his shirt until he was naked waist up.

I got off the bed and finally looked at him, the tattoo on his chest, "Kerrianne" across his heart - who the fuck was Kerrianne I wondered but at that moment truly didn't care - tattoos on his arms, necklace around his neck and across his chest.

He sat and his hands shot immediately to me, pulling me closer, desire and hunger in his eyes.

He pressed his face against my breasts and I could feel his breathing through the silky blouse. He kissed the skin between them and looked at me with a wicked glee in his eyes, smiling.

I ran my hands through his hair, streaked with white, surprisingly silky and thick, and pressed him closer, closing my eyes when he grabbed my ass, his mouth leaving hot, burning kisses on my breasts. He pushed the blouse up and began kissing and licking my stomach making me giggle a bit.

I broke free from his embrace and went on my knees. I wanted him, this man whose every touch send shivers up and down my spine. He took my face in his hands, a move I adored, and kissed me while I pushed him back on the bed.

He had a tummy but for some reason I found that extremely sexy on him. I began kissing and licking and biting his neck and then his tattooed chest. When I took one of his nipples in my mouth he hissed "shit", the accent even thicker. I smiled at him and moved further south, kissing his belly and unzipping his pants.

I stopped kissing him just enough to take his boots off and his pants leaving him in boxers but then he pulled me to him and on the bed.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his hands on my body, his lips on my neck.

"Open your eyes Ro", he whispered in my ear. And I did. He was smiling at me. "I hope this isn't your favorite shirt" he said and tore it in half before I could even open my mouth.

He literary jumped on my body, kissing and sucking and nibbling it, his hands leaving marks on me and I returned the favor grabbing him and biting and pressing my body on his. I wanted to feel all of him. I wanted to mark him as mine and be marked as his. Stupid cow, here I was panting under him and dreaming of being his and only a few hours ago I laughed at Molly's expense. Who's stupid now bitch, I thought but the moment he kissed me again my mind went blank.

I managed to kick my boots and he took off my jeans, leaving me in my underwear. I turned red under his gaze, suddenly ashamed of my body, the scars I had, all the marks life left on me, marks and scars I will have to explain later. I put my face in my hands and whispered "please, don't look at me like that".

He unclasped my hands. "You are beautiful Ro", he told me serious. "And I want you like I haven't wanted anyone in years".

I smiled, still ashamed and pulled him on me. He chuckled and began tracing my body with soft kisses. It wasn't long before both my bra and my knickers were torn in pieces.

"You have a thing for tearing shit up" I tried to joke and he laughed in my belly. "No, love, I just hate seeing anything on you".

He took one nipple in his mouth and I arched towards him, feeling a shot of desire going from my pussy to my throat. I never understood the obsession with breasts. Usually it was uncomfortable when a guy leached on them but with Filip it was different. He sucked and kissed and licked and nibbled, pressing against me and with every move he made I felt the knot of desire in my belly going bigger and pleasantly painful.

The growl of pleasure escaped my mouth and I pushed myself on him, feeling his dick against my thigh, rock hard and hot.

I wanted to kiss him and go down on him but he wouldn't let me move, his head now between my legs. With first lick my whole body arched and I let a loud sigh of purest delight. He held me tight, not allowing me to move while he licked and sucked my clit, his other hand playing around my entrance, his fingers teasing me.

"Please Filip" I cried and he put a finger in me, and began moving it slowly, making my whole body shake.

I pulled him to me "I want you in me Filip. Please" I almost cried from the pain of desire.

He got off me, ignoring my protests, took the condom and came back to my open arms. He touch me between the legs and smiled. "Ro" he whispered hoarsely and kissed me.

I helped him put on the condom with trembling hands, feverish and nervous. He saw that and kissed me again, this time lingering and slow, his tongue searching and mouth calming mine.

I felt his hips move and he was in me. We didn't move at first, both waiting for our bodies to adjust to the other. He was big, bigger than I thought and filled me whole.

"Christ Ro, you're so tight", he told me and leaned on his elbows. "Fucking perfect" he growled. I wrapped my legs around his hips, allowing him to enter me deeper, all the way. It hurt, but in a good way.

He began moving very slow, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Look at me Ro", he called me when I tried to close my eyes.

I watched his face, desire, pleasure, focus changing on it. He murmured something in Gaelic to me and kissed me while I grazed his back with my nails, grabbing his ass, pushing him on me. My whole body opened up to him and I wished I could take in whole of him.

He began moving faster while I wrapped my legs tighter around him, kissing and biting his chest, scratching his ass and back. He leaned on one hand while with his other he grabbed my butt and pushed me on him. I screamed from pleasure and pain when he reached the end of me.

He moved his hand from my ass to my clit and began circling it, all the time going in and out of me. The sensation of his callused hand on my soft flesh, his throbbing dick in me, the smell and taste of his body made me lightheaded and crazy turned on and soon enough I felt orgasm approaching.

I came screaming his name, nails digging into his flesh, body convulsing and arching to his. He followed , growling and roaring "shit Ro" before collapsing on me.

He moved from me despite my protests and puled me closer, giving me room to snug next to him. I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeats, tracing every mark I could see with my fingers, body vibrating from pleasure.

He kissed me on the head and I heard him whisper "fucking beautiful" before falling to sleep.

...

I woke up the next morning in an empty bed. I saw his cut on the chair and he knife on the bed stand and then I heard curses and a loud bang coming from what I gathered was kitchen.

I found his shirt on the floor and put it on, grinning like an idiot because it smelled of him and made my way to him.

He was just in his jeans, making breakfast.

"I can't think of anything sexier than a half naked man making me breakfast", I grinned and hugged him from behind.

He laughed, a bit embarrassed. "Have I woken you?"

"No", I kissed his shoulder blade and he turned to face me, pushing my hair from my face. He had a concerned look in his eyes.

"What's up VP", I smiled, clasping my arms around his neck.

"Are you ok with this Ro?"

"With what?"

"Us hooking up"

"Oh, so we're hooked up now" I joked. "What, last night wasn't good enough proof for you?"

He pressed closer to me, holding my face in his hand. "Don't joke, love. I'm serious", his voice was low.

"Look VP", I grew serious too, "I like you and I'd like to be with you. Let's just have fun for now and see how that plays out".

He nodded, still glum but smiled when I pulled a face. We needed to talk, but not now.

"Cheer up VP. Let me show you just how OK I am with us hooking up", I bit his ear and pressed against him. I felt his growing member against my leg. This time I wanted to taste him so with a teasing look I went on my knees and unzipped his pants.

It fell in my hand, long and thick and perfect and I began slowly licking it. I raised my eyes to see Chibs look at me. I smiled and took him in my mouth drawing a sigh from him. I moved slowly, tasting it,enjoying it, playing with it and after a while quickened my pace. His breathing became shallow and haggard and he grabbed my hair and pulled me to my feet, kissing me hard.

"You little witch", he moaned and fished another condom from his jeans.

He sat me on a table and jammed himself in me. He pulled my head back holding me by the hair and licked and nibbled my neck, while I wrapped my legs around him and eased a bit back changing the position of his entrance.

"Fuck Ro, I don't think I can keep this up for long" he grind the words. I smiled and teased him "old man" and he bit my breast, not too hard but just enough for me to yelp.

He chuckled and I put two of my fingers in his mouth and he sucked them and watched me wide eyed as I laid back on the table, among the plates and mugs set for breakfast and began playing with my clit.

We came together a few minutes later. We barely managed to catch our breath when Juice banged on the door, calling for Chibs to hurry up.

"Perfect timing", he laughed and I chuckled.


	5. Chapter 5

They dropped me off home and I had to laugh Juice's shocked face when he saw Chibs and me get out of his house, me in his VP's shirt, both of us grinning.

"Ah, grose! Its like walking in on my parents. Stop that", he joked when they dropped me off. I got off Chibs' bike and wasn't sure if I'm allowed to kiss him or will I ruin his biker image, but he pulled me closer with one "come here" and kissed me, grosing out Juice.

"I'll drop by later", he grinned and pulled the shirt I was wearing a bit to sneak peak at my boobs. "I think I owe you something", he winked.

"Oh God, please, don't. Knowing you and your porn business, I'll end up wearing some skimpy, eatable excuse for panties", I grinned and he laughed.

"Just come by later", I asked and kissed him again.

...

I managed to finish most of the work in the bar and was panting and grunting trying to move a case of booze when Happy came.

The music was so loud I haven't heard him come in.

"Shit Happy, you scared me"

He grabbed the case from my hands and practically growled at me. "Where do you want it?"

"Over there", I pointed and watched him as he took the case and carried it across the bar. He turned to me.

"Anything else?"

"Nah, its cool" I had to grin at his pissed off attitude. "What's up Hap?"

"You're riming now, pussycat?"

"Pussycat?"

"Well, you don't like me calling you bitch, so I'll call you pussycat", he grinned back. "Wanna scratch me, kitty?", he came closer. I could feel the heat from his body and smell him - soap and leather. He was hot. And scary.

"I'll leave that to that army of crows that circle around you", I moved away from his arms. "Stop that", I slapped his hand that came dangerously close to my ass. "I'm serious".

He leaned on the bar, flashing me a smile that was both gorgeous and creepy at the same time. "Are you sure?"

"Positive"

"Ok" he nodded, totally cool and unfazed.

I laughed and kissed him on the forehead. "You are the most unusual, strangest dude I've ever met and I absolutely, fucking adore you. Want to stay for lunch?"

"Aha. I'll do the dishes".

And just like that, he went to my kitchen in the back, watched me make the sauce for our spaghetti, snarled because of the mess I made and after lunch, helped me out with the dishes. And then he was gone. Happy Lowman. The man.

...

Chibs did came later that day. He looked tired and troubled, so different from the night before.

"Come VP, lets go upstairs", I pulled him to the stairs to my small apartment.

"Maybe I should get home, Ro love. I'm not much of a company tonight"

I squeezed his hand making him look me in the eyes. "Don't go home. Stay with me". I smiled and he smiled back, nodding.

He let me lead him to my small bedroom and sat him on the bed while I prepared a bath.

I found him siting in the same position, staring empty at his feet. The look of a man with a weight of a world on his shoulders. I began undressing him, slowly and silently and he let me. I saw specks of blood on his undershirt and his bruised knuckles which I kissed surprising him and he held my face in his hand, watching me intensively.

"Ro..."

"Shhh VP. Don't talk. Come with me". I led him to the bathroom, now full of hot steam from the bath prepared and scent from the candles I lit.

"Do I smell that bad, lass? he smiled and opened his eyes wide when he saw me get undressed. "My, my, you are full of surprises"

I grinned and pulled him to the tub. He leaned his head on my chest, caressing my ankles and shins while I circled and touched his torso.

"Close your eyes VP. Just relax", I whispered, watching him relax bit by bit under my arms, his body heavy on mine. I wanted to touch him everywhere but knew it wasn't the time, so I just hummed under my breath to a slow bluse tune in the background, caressing him, murmuring.

After a while he took my hands in his and kissed them. "Thank you"

I kissed him on the top of the head. "I haven't washed your hair yet, so don't thank me" I tried to joke so I wouldn't hug and kiss him and tell him I'm crazy about him.

He chuckled and leaned back. "So, how was your day love?"

"Oh, fun. Happy came. We ate and he washed the dishes. He's one tidy sergeant you have there VP. Very meticulous".

He turned his head to see my face. "Happy came? What did he want"

I could hear the tension in his voice.

"He came to ask me out", I grinned.

"And?", the tension was slowly turning to white heat rage. Then it dawned on me.

"Shit VP, are you jealous?"

"Don't be ridiculous".

"Ouch, that hurt!" I jocked.

"I didn;t mean it like that Ro", he tried to explain himself but stopped. "I just...what...Christ woman! What did you say to him?"

I hugged and kissed him, giggling, gently touching his cheek, watching his angry face go a touch softer.

"I said 'no' VP. I kinda like you"

"Kinda?"

"Well, sort of"

"Sort of?", now he chuckled, tickling me, water splashing all over my bathroom. He pinned me down with his body and I saw his smile disappear, desire in his eyes. "Well, a lot, actually" I whispered moment before our lips met.

He wrapped one arm around my wait, the other touching my leg, moving up through the water to my ass and then to my breasts. I arched my body form the water, exposing them and he took one nipple in his mouth, gently sucking and kissing, while he played with the other with his callused fingers, making me moan.

Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, he got out pulling me along. I pressed to him, searching for his lips, loving the feel of his wet body against mine, the way he towered over me, pulling me closer.

I wrapped my legs around him and he carried me to the bed. He broke the kiss to study my face. "Well, girl, I sort of, kinda like you too. A lot", he smiled. "And I desire you", he added theatrically, moving his eyebrows, making me laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

Bar opening was a success. It seemed everyone was there. Jax, Bobby and Chibs came a bit late, due to the dealings with the Irish. The first thing Chibs saw was Ro laughing at something Owsald was saying. She had one hand on Elliott's shoulder and the other on her throat and the sight of that neck exposed as she laughed from the top of her lungs made him want to run his tongue over it. She had an infectious laugh and soon the whole group around them laughed.

Jax pointed to the table in the back where Tig and Juice were already drinking their beers and teasing Lyla "We'll be there Chibs".

Ro spotted them at that moment and came to them still giggling. She was wearing some tight, low cut blouse and Chibs clenched his fists to stop himself from lashing at Bobby who whistled and mockingly peaked at her cleavage.

"God damn Ro! You do look like a bartender", he grinned and she grinned back.

"I'm wearing this only for you Bobby". She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissed him on his cheek and before anyone noticed unclasped one of his necklaces and hung it around her neck. The medallion nested right between her tits and Chibs noticed that both he and Bobby swallowed hard.

"You approve?" she teasingly asked, one eyebrow high.

"By all means, girl",Bobby managed to answer while Jax chuckled. "Shit Chibs, she's a handful", he told his VP who was standing there, his face cold as stone with only his eyes burning.

"Hey Chibs, you ok? We're just fucking around", Bobby grabbed the Scotsman by the shoulder, forcing him to look at him. Ro came as well and lightly touched Chibs hand.

If Jax had any doubts over Ro's feelings toward his brother, they disappeared when he saw her looking at him. Here whole face lightened up and gone was that flirty, teasing, friendly look she gave to all the other men in the room. She saw only Chibs and she watched him like he was an ice cold beer on a long, hot day.

Bobby caught that too so he cleared his throat and pushed Jax to Son's table. "We'll leave you alone",he said to no one in particular.

"I've missed you these past few days", she told him and smiled.

"We've been busy", he answered dryly.

He wanted, no he needed to talk to her, to tell her what's going on, to share his burden with her, his fears over Jax and his rogue ways, the club, life. He missed her terribly these past few days and he could still feel her on his skin. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw her and those feelings drove him crazy. He was too old and jaded for that shit. He wanted to get out but couldn't.

Ro squeezed his hand a bit more, making him look at her. "Please don't bail out before talking to me. OK?"

Chibs just nodded, fighting the urge to take her in his arms and show everyone she's his. Before he could say anything, Happy came. He casually threw his arm around Ro's shoulders. "I think you owe me a beer, kitty" he flashed his teeth and steered her towards the bar. Ro threw one last look across her shoulder and saw Chibs standing where they left him, eyes flashing.

...

I didn't have another chance to talk to Chibs that entire evening. There was always someone to talk to, smile at, bring drinks... I went through the motions on auto pilot, wondering what to do. He chickened out and I had no idea what to do.

"Are you ok sweetheart?" Gemma suddenly appeared behind me. The woman was giving me the creeps.

"I'm fucking peachy", I spat and she gave me a knowing smirk.

"Yeah, I can tell"

She eyed me from head to toe, processing everything from my hair and almost nonexistent make up, to my shirt, jeans and boots. She shook her head and left leaving me to stand puzzled.

I was just about to go to Chibs when I saw him talk with some blond bimbo,his arm around her shoulders. Her friends were leaching to the rest of the Sons, flirting their asses off. "You asshole", I cursed under my breath and ignoring Lyla's cry started pushing my way towards them.

Then the shooting started. I saw the bitch flirting with Chibs go down and him ducking under the table pulling Jax and another girl. He pulled his gun and scanned the room before seeing me. I saw him lip me to stay down and began to move towards me.

I saw Happy firing back, as well as Tig and Jax. There were screams everywhere. Lyla was crying under the bar and before I could move Chibs was there, pining me to the ground.

The gunfire sounded like thunder and it seemed like it was going on for hours even though I knew it was a matter of seconds. I could hear the brakes and could smell the rubber and the gunpowder. I saw one of the gashes thatwere hanging around the Sons, screaming and then I heard Elliott. He was holding his wife in his arms, bloodall over her crisp white shirt.

I pushed and wiggled under Chibs and ran towards him, screaming his name, shouting at him to go down. I tumbled him and felt a bullet tear one strand of my hair, grazing my forehead. It burned like acid.

Then it was all quiet.

"Jesus Christ Elliott", I screamed at him and then pushed him from his wife. She was still breathing. I pressed the wound and shouted at Elliott to bring me some towels and someone else to call the ambulance. I saw that the bitch flirting with Chibs was ok and that another one had a piece of glass stuck in her thigh. Gemma  
was holding her down while Chibs pulled it out.

The bar was ruined, but majority of the damage was in the corner where the Sons were sitting. Jax came to me.

"Not now Jackson", I hissed. Chibs came to my side and looked at the wound. I remembered he was a medic in the army.

"Just keep the pressure on",he told me coldly and then he turned to Elliott. "She's going to be fine", he told him and went with Jax.

I grabbed Elliott's hand and pressed it to the wound. "I need a minute Elliott. Please?". He nodded, sobbing.

Jax saw me. "I'm sorry Ro. We'll make it up to you", he said shaking his head. I fucking wanted to smack him across that pretty boy face, but was too tired.

My head was pounding and I could feel the blood dripping over my face. Chibs turned my face towards the light and inspected the wound. I could see his jaw clenching and his eyes growing darker.

"You stupid girl", he hissed. "You almost got yourself killed". The hand that was cupping my chin squeezed harder. "What the fuck were you thinking?", I could now hear the fear in his voice and the relief.

I felt tears in my eyes. I was relieved he was ok, afraid for him, pissed at the Sons because my bar was fucking ruined, furious at him for groping that girl, worried about Elliott.

I pushed his hand. "Fuck you Chibs". I couldn't fight my tears any longer and headed for the toilet, sobbing like an idiot.


	7. Chapter 7

I was sitting in an empty bar trying to gather my thoughts and figure out what am I to do now.

Apart from that bimbo and Elliott's wife, no one else was hurt which was a miracle considering the amount of bullets and holes I saw around me. Both women will be fine and it was a relief.

I sat with Elliott for hours in the hospital, fearing for the worst, trying to calm him and comfort him. I could almost kiss that doctor when he finally came back with good news.

After the last cop left, another inspection of the bar showed that the damage was not so catastrophic but was nevertheless a serious blow to my budget. I will have to find cash quickly.

I saw Jax and Chibs talking to the cops and figured some sort of a deal was reached because they asked me very little questions and were gone.

However, the thing that was troubling me at that moment wasn't the money or the attack but Chibs and me and all that went on last night. What the hell happened?

As if I've summoned him,Chibs came in. And I wasn't sure what I wanted to do first - to run in his arms and apologize for whatever i did, to break his nose for flirting with that gash and ignoring me, to scream at him out of sheer frustration that my life savings disappeared because of the Sons, to kick myself in the ass for ever mixing with them. I wanted to scream and laugh and cry and break something or hit someone at the same time.

Instead of doing any of those things or all of them, I just sat there, at the empty bar,surrounded with broken bottles, glasses and furniture, staring at the blood stains and thinking "This is my life. This mess, this is my life. I will never escape it".

...

"We should talk Ro"

I sighed. "Yes, I guess we should".

I finally looked at him and my heart bled. "What happened?"

"We don't know, yet", he rubbed his eyes with his hands, cigarette in one hand. "I won't happen again."

I had to smile. That was not what I was asking and he knew it.

"If you don't mind me making one politically incorrect comment, this doesn't strike me like an old continent thing. More, new kids trying to leave their mark. And they did. All over my place",I said, looking at the wall.

He looked at me carefully, almost like he was seeing me for the first time. I was still in my "bar opening" clothes, now covered in blood, my hair was also caked in blood, the cut still throbbing. Another scar to my collection. I reeked of spilled booze, blood and sweat and I desperately wanted him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok.

"I think so too", he said more to himself than me. Then he looked up. "I'm sorry about this Ro. We'll take care of it"

I nodded tiredly. "Forget it. Its my problem. Suits me right for mixing up with you guys", I tried to smile, God knows why as there was nothing funny about any of it.

Chibs shook his head. "I'll send the prospects to help. You'll be back in business in no time."

Now I had to laugh. "Are you fucking kidding me VP? Who'd want to come to a bar that was acting like Iraq on its opening night?"

He sat silent and I waved my hand. "Oh fuck it. I'll deal with it later".

I lit the cigarette and studied him through the smoke.

"So, VP, what happened? And I meant with us. I thought we were cool the last time we saw each other and then you disappeared for a few days and last night..." I didn't finish and just shrugged. I had no idea what happened last night.

Chibs sighed and finished his smoke. "I can't be with you Ro".

"Would you mind telling me why?". My voice sounded strange, calm and cool and of everything that was boiling in me.

He pointed to the room. "I'm not good for you. You must see that".

I jumped from the chair and kicked it so hard it broke. My fists were clenched so hard I could feel my nails digging in my palms, drawing blood.

"Oh fuck that shit", I lashed out. "You don't have to be with me if you don't want to but at least be a man and tell me straight. Don't give me that bullshit how this is all for my well being".

Now he was on his feet too and in couple of long strides came to me, grabbing me by the arms,clenching so hard I couldn't move my fingers. He shook me and literary spat the words.

"I am fucking crazy about you. And its driving me nuts. I'm way to old and weary to feel like a love struck teenager, thinking about you every second, pining for you". He shook me with every word, his face twisted from frustration.

He cupped my face with his hand and I could smell smoke, gunpowder and leather on it."I'm jealous of anyone you talk to or smile at,my brothers as well and I can't let that be. Ever."

His hand slipped from my face to my neck and he squeezed it took a deep breath, calming himself. "I woke up the other morning with you in my arms and realised I was happy and that I want you in my life."

I must have been crying because he wiped my face with his hands and held it so I would look at him. "And then I remembered what my life was like. I killed a man that night I came to you. And he wasn't the first. My club, my brothers are in a chaos and I have no idea how it will work out. I can't offer you anything but what you saw last night. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get hurt again".

He kissed me desperately,grabbing my hair to steady me, his other arm pressing me hard next to him. I grabbed him by his cut, puling him closer,opening my mouth so I could taste him as head was spinning and I could hardly breathe. And then he broke the kiss and let go of me.

"That's why I can't be with you,love. I'll send the prospects to help you but after that we'll stay clear of your you. All of us".

He turned to leave and I had to hold myself against the wall so I wouldn't sink to the floor, my legs giving up on me.

"Don't you fucking dare leave Filip",I hissed through clenched throat. He turned around to look at me, his face a painful grey mask. "If you think I will let you leave after what you just said you are fucking insane!"

I stumbled to him, grabbing his arm. There was thunder in my ears and red haze over my eyes and for a second I thought I'll faint. I shook my head in an effort to clear it. I can't pass out now, not before I say it.

"I'm in love with you,you thick headed Scottish ass. And if you think I'll just accept this lame excuse, then you are a bigger ass than i thought".

I felt queasy and was saw nothing but the dark spots before my eyes. Perfect fucking timing. I steadied myself against him and managed to say "If you're not here when I come around, I'll make you sorry" before everything went black.

**Any thoughts? Comments? Criticism?**


	8. Chapter 8

"You faint like a girl".

I opened my eyes to see Chibs sitting on the bed next to me.

"That's because I am a girl if you haven't noticed" I managed to croak.

"Oh,I have noticed all right", he flashed a smile and I realised I was naked under the sheets.

"Is that a standard procedure in cases of fainting?" I asked, eyebrow lifted, making him grin.

"No, love, but I hated seeing blood on you. And this" he showed me Bobby's medallion. I forgot about it completely. Chibs wasn't smiling any more.

"Wait, are you jealous?" I was shocked. Bobby and me teased each other constantly and, granted, it mostly involved crude and rude sexual insinuations but it was clear to everyone that it was just our way of goofing around. Or so I thought.

Chibs was quiet. I found his hand and squeezed it."It was a joke . A stupid joke over bartenders and tits and cleavages. I'm sorry. I didn't realize how it might look to you."

"And Happy?". There was a controled anger in his voice.

I didn't answer right away. I had no idea what to say so when I opened my mouth, words just spilled. "I like Happy, like him a lot - he freaks me out and makes me feel safe at the same time. But it's you and only you I want".

He was still pensive and serious. He looked at my hand holding his and gently rubbed his thumb over it.

"Hey" I called him, unsure what to do.

Chibs was just about to say something when his cell rang. I watched him pacing up and down, his face growing darker with each moment. He hung up and turned to me. "I have to go".

I nodded in agreement. "When will you be back?"

"Couple of days. Have s.."

"some shit to do",I finished the sentence for him. The look on his face frightened me. I grabbed his arm, stopping him before he turned for the door. "You'll be careful, right? No macho bullshit?". I squeezed harder "And you'll return to me?"

He gave me half a smile, leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my lips which soon grew hotter. I pressed closer, wrapping my arms around his neck, forcing him to lean closer. I let a soft moan and he pulled away me and walked out without a word.

...

The next day I was just finishing cleaning out the bar - prospects already plugged the holes and replaced the windows, when sheriff Roosevelt walked in.

"Morning miss Drake".

I saw him take in everything, the damage that was already fixed, me standing next to a pile of glass, prospects in the background...

"Back in business already?"

"A girl has to eat, sheriff. How can I help you?"

He silently observed me, waiting for me to start twitching and growing nervous. I guess years of living with a cop paid off as I stayed calm, waiting...and pissing him off.

"What happened here miss Drake?"

"I thought that was obvious,sheriff. Someone opened fire on my bar, at the moment almost everyone in Charming was there".

He smirked. "Including the Sons"

"And the mayor, and all the council members, off duty deputies, medics and doctors from st Thomas..." I added, smiling innocently.

That irked him. I saw him clench his fists,literary swallowing his words.

"Miss Drake, I know of your conection with the Sons. If this has anything to do with them, it would be wise of you to let me know",he stepped forward, trying to corner me. "Two women were shot in your bar..."

"And on your watch Roosevelt. And I don't remember seeing you either here nor in the hospital", I leaned in his face.

Before I could say anything else, Elliott walked in.

"Roosevelt, just the man I wanted to see". He smiled coldly to sheriff. "Any leads?

"Miss Drake and I were just discussing her connections with the Sons of Anarchy"

"Our good sheriff was just warned me not to play with our motorcycle enthusiasts", I cut in sarcastically. "Coffee, Elliott?"

"Whiskey", he asked and turned his stare to Roosevelt. "Apart from your discussion and a hunch, do you have anything solid?"

Not many people could stand Elliott's stare for too long. Roosevelt soon started shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "No", he finally said.

"Then I suggest you try harder sheriff. Its election year and this will not look good". Elliott dismissed him and turned his attention to me.

I watched the sheriff leave and giggled to Elliott."That was just mean".

"I'm pissed Ro. My wife got shot, your bar was destroyed and he's chatting about the Sons. If he knows something, he should act, not play some righteous asshole".

He gulped his drink and looked at me. "Does it hurt",he gently touched my cut.

"No"

"Just another one?" he bitterly laughed.

I felt my stomach twitch and my body go cold. I touched his hand gently and he gave me a tired half smile. "I'm sorry Ro"

"I know"

We sat in silence for a while.

"Do you like him?"

"Yes"

He nodded.

"Be careful Ro. I know you and there is no point in asking you to stop and thing, but this time take care of yourself. I'm afraid you'll get hurt"

I kissed him on the cheek, touched by his concern,grateful that he was there and worried.

"Don't worry about the bar, Ro. I'll be having my birthday party here next Tuesday", he winked and left leaving me to my thoughts.

...  
The smell of blood, sweat and drink was suffocating me. I could still feel his hand around my neck, squeezing, the other jamming the blade, the screams and curses. His touch that was giving me the creeps was now on me again and I moved as swiftly as possible,grabbing the hand from my shoulder, twisting it, fist in the air.

It took a second to realise I almost knocked out Gemma Teller.

"Jesus! What the hell is going on", she got of her knees and rubbed her arm, watching me like I was a lunatic.

And I was at that moment.

"What the fuck Gemma!? What do you want?"

"I came to see how you're doing".

"Christ! Is this 'let's visit Ro day'? I'm fine", I shrugged and went for the whiskey. She lit her cigarette and watched me silently. I forced my body to remain calm, the imaged in my head again tightly locked again.

"You know they are on a punitive mission? Because of you", she spat.

"No, I didn't know that".

She stood up and slowly came to me, heels giving her advantage.

"I warned you not to hurt him and now he could get hurt. Seriously. Because of some reporter gash", she smirked in my face.

My heart skipped a beat.I could literary taste my fear now. Macho idiot.

"You know he's married,right? And that this thing between the two of you will never be more than a thing. A short thing".

I felt as if someone punched me in the face. She was watching me, waiting for some clue, sign of weakness. And she was telling the truth. The bitch was telling the truth. I remembered Kerrianne tattoo on his chest.

"Just back off before another thing like last night happens", she purred in my ear like one of those Siamese cats from the "Lady and the tramp". "Leave this place and start over somewhere else".

Before I could think I punched her in the sound of a bone cracking and her surprised yelp and then painful sob were music to my ears. She was holding her face, blood dripping between her fingers when I grabbed her by her throat, fingers of my other hand jamming in her crotch, forcing her to stand on her toes, hand around mine, trying to free herself.

"I warned you not to put your nose in my affairs. You said what you had to say. Now leave before I rip your throat, you evil, meddling bitch", I hissed at her,squeezing her hard, my fingers pushing even further between her legs.

She ran from the bar, leaving me trembling and the hell was I doing!? When will he be back?Will he come to see me? If not, should I go? What if he gets hurt? Should I ask about his wife? Tell him about Jake?

I pressed my hands across my mouth, trying to keep myself from screaming, from trashing the place.  
...


	9. Chapter 9

Days seemed like weeks and were dragging on despite all the work I had. Elliott true to his word, threw his birthday party in my bar and again, all "who's who" of Charming area were there. Soon, people started coming in. whether it was because my place was the only watering hole in 20 km radius or because of Elliott.

I saw Jax and Bobby but had no courage to go to TM and ask what's going on so I waited unsure what I was waiting for. Or hoping for.

Gemma's visit threw me off balance more than I was willing to admit. It felt good punching her in the face, but her words were like venom in my heart, poison and doubt spreading everywhere.  
...

Lyla and me were having our morning coffee and she was trying to cheer me up, having been the victim of my bad mood in the past few days. I was sorry for hurting her but unable to quietly took over most of the work load so I wouldn't scare away those few customers that were coming in.

"I'm sorry Lyla", I managed to say without sounding like a bitch I was.

She smiled. "Well, after punching Gemma in the face, no one will dare to cross you so I'll accept your apology."

I grinned bitterly and she continued timidly. "They got separated ages ago and he likes you. I saw how he was looking at you that night..."

"That night you were hiding under the bar and could see nothing? I appreciate your efforts Lyla but give it a rest. Its none of your business", the bitch was back. I wanted to hurt someone and she was close. Such a low blow.

She eyed me coldly and I liked her even more because of that. Go girl!

"I'm not blind Ro and I've known Chibs longer than you. I;ve never seen him with anyone but crows and the way he's looking at you...", she stopped in the middle of the sentence and stared at the door, her mouth half open.

I turned around and saw Chibs. He looked haggard, with days old beard, circles around his eyes, dust on his boots. But his eyes were burning into mine and I felt my knees shake, joy, hunger and desire boiling in my belly. I stood up but couldn't move. With the corner of my eye I saw Lyla move away from us.

"When did you return", my voice sounded strange. Could I have asked a more stupid question?!

He was in front of me in three long strides. "Shut up" he growled as his hand grabbed my face,puling it to his buried his gloved hands in my hair, puling me closer, his lips were crushing mine, tongue searching, demanding, claiming. His beard was scratching my chin, teeth biting my lips so hard could taste blood but I didn't care. He was alive and here.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing closer to him,devouring him.I could taste cigarettes and beer on his tongue and smell his own musky scent mixed with scents of leather, gunpowder, gasoline. It was intoxicating. I led him to my apartment, blind and deaf to everything and everyone but him. I could hear his heavy steps  
behind me and feel the warmth of his body as he leaned against me while I opened the door to my room.

He slammed me against the door, his mouth again on mine. I heard him unzip his pants and felt him half take off half tear my jeans and jam in me all the way.

It most certainly wasn't lovemaking nor fucking but branding and claiming, and it felt good. At that moment it felt right. The tantalizing feel of leather under my hands instead of his skin, the smells and the groans and moans coming from both of us made me even more turned on.

This wasn't the gentile, careful Chibs I knew but some dark, dangerous man driven by urge,need and desire, hammering me hard and careless. I puled him by the hair from my lips and saw raw desire, pain and rage in his eyes. And also something tender and gentile lurking in the corners, filing my heart with crazy hope things  
will work out.

Then he closed them and continued fucking me while I held him tight. He came silently, spilling his seed in me and I wrapped my entire body around him, soaking in his sighs, shakes and trembles.

We remained tangled for a while, hearts pounding before he puled away from me and began undressing.

"Take of your clothes". The accent was so thick I didn't understand him but mimicked his actions. For a moment the two of us looked like two boxers in the ring, eyeing each other, looking for weak spots.

I took of every necklace, bracelet and ring I had and stood before him completely naked on bright morning sun, watching him take in everything.

He was also naked and I felt like some one sat on my chest when I saw that name over his heart and a large dark bruise on his side. I wished for the first time in my life I could undo some things, be someone else, someone better.

"Who's Kerrianne?"

...

**First and foremost - THANK YOU zelzai for your constant support! It means to me more than I can say.**

**Second - my dear fellow readers, writers, fan fiction fans, guests ... please share your thoughts (even if you think the story/author sucks). It takes a few moments of your time and means a lot - to me anyway.**

**So, having said that, hope you'll enjoy it. Thoughts, ideas,comments are welcome!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chibs was looking at the bloody body of a young black kid he just beat up. How many so far has he hurt or maimed or killed? What kind of an animal was he?

Ro was right about one thing - it was some young hotshots trying to prove themselves. But it turned out it was the Irish who were calling the shots - a punishment for Jax's attempts to them out of gun business. They just found someone else to do their dirty work.

He lost it when he saw the photographs of Ro with him and the Sons. They followed all of them, even photographed him and Ro at Joe's place, kissing in front of his house.

"Nice piece of ass you got there VP",one of them was stupid enough to make a smug comment. "The bitch is always up for it".

It was all he needed to lash out. It took both Happy and Tig to get him off the kid but he shook them off and continued hitting him until the boy's face was  
a bloody mush and he was standing over the body,panting hard, watching his bloody hands in horror.

"I'll be outside",he mumbled and stumbled out, lighting a cigarette.

He couldn't get Ro out of his head, the sound of her laughter, the way she bit her lip when thinking, how her body felt against his, her scent. And then he remembered the scars on that body, the ugly knife wounds on her stomach, the cut on her forearm, the bullet wound on her hip, dozen of small scars on her back. What happened to her?

She was clearly accustomed to shooting - he saw how she reacted during the shootout, no panic or hysteria. Ro just scanned the room and acted. The way she moved showed military or police training and he remembered her saying she did a story on Boston SWAT team years ago. Was she daiting one of them then?

"Are you ok, brother", Jax sat next to him. "You kinda lost it back there".

"I don't know Jackie boy".

"You really like that chick?"

"Kid, I think I fucking love her. And its killing me."

Jax sat silent for a while, wondering what to say. He understood Chibs' problem and knew how hard it was for Tara to accept this life, but he saw how Ro looked at his VP and how Chibs acted around her.

"Well, she doesn't strike me as some naive girl who doesn't know what she's getting into. In fact, she kinda reminds me of my mom, which is spooky."

Chibs laughed bitterly. "Christ boy! Don't you remember the other night? She almost got killed. And for what? Fucking Irish! And how did she end up on their radar? Because of me. I'll be damned if I'm going to let her get hurt because of some worthless, murdering son of a bitch".

Jax watched his friend for a while, shocked and saddened.

"You are not worthless, just stubborn son of a bitch. And you'll be a sad and pathetic son of a bitch if you drive her away without giving her a choice".

With that, he stood up and walked back into the warehouse. "They have another hiding place in Tacoma. I'm sending you, Tig and Hap to check it out".

The trip was a waste of time. The place was empty and Chibs couldn't wait to go back. He'll deal with the Irish but first, he needed to return home, to think and then see Ro. But the longer he was away the more he longed for her.

When she undressed before him after he so brutally used her, unable to control himself, he was defeated. He needed her by his side all the time.

And then she dropped the bomb. "Who's Kerrianne?"

...

I saw him sigh and hunch and sit on the bed like every bone in his body ached.

"My daughter"

"And her mother?"

"Fiona and Kerrianne are in Ireland".

He told me the whole story about Jimmy O and Fiona and Sambel and Stahl and then Opie and Donna, Clay, all the dirty little secrets Samcro was keeping, all the dirty work he did, the choices he made...

"I'm a bad man Ro. And beyond redemption. But I want to be with you,if you'll have me".

I listened to the whole story without a sound, slumped on the floor, the sun rays crossing the floor across the room. Instead of being shockedor repulsed, all I could think was how much I liked this man and needed him, how good I felt around him.

"Do you love her? Fiona, I mean."

"I don't know. I thought I did until you came. I was so used to being away from her, dreaming of her and Kerrianne,the life we never had, it never occurred to me that I might actually met someone else I'll care about".

He rubbed his hand across his face and beard.

"Fi and I are finished. Have been for years. I love her as she is the mother of my child, but us being together again was just a dream."

"And me?"

The smile he gave me was almost like a caress and the knot in my belly began loosening up. "I want you Ro, wrapped around me, every limb. For good. I want to sleep next to you and wake up next to you and laugh with you and fight with you and make love to you for as long as you want me. I'm fucking nuts about you".

I laughed and cried at the same time. "Shit VP, how can I say no to a vowing of a butt naked guy?"

"Ro", he was kneeling in front of me, holding my ice cold hands with his warm and callused fingers, "I have nothing to offer you, but I'm yours body and soul,love".

I felt a sharp pain in my belly. "There are some things I need to tell you Filip, things about my past that you should know before choosing to stay with me."

He stopped me with a kiss. "Not now". He kissed me again,wrapping his arms around me and lowering me to the hard floor."I don't care. Right now I want you". He was whispering in my ear, his breath tickling me, sending shivers down my spine. He sucked my earlobe and began nuzzling my neck making me arch my body closer to his.

He chuckled and leaned on his forearms, holding my face in his hands,watching me with a wicked sparkle in his eyes. I wrapped my legs around his waist and felt him against my thigh, hard and throbbing. He rubbed himself against me, his tongue pushing into my mouth making me whimper from desire.

"Please Filip", I pleaded when he released my lips. "I want you in me. Please". I squeezed my hand between our bodies and grabbed him, stroking him only to feel him grow even harder. He closed his eyes while I stroked and pulled and pressed my crotch against him only to open them shocked when I led him in,wrapping my legs tighter around him, sliding lower so he would fit.

The feel of him, filling me whole, his body covering mine was all I needed and longed for at that moment. He pulled out a bit and then pushed in, slowly,each time pulling out a bit further and pushing in a bit harder until all I could feel was the place where our bodies joined and everything else disappeared.

I tried to fasten our pace but he held me down and continued with his slow torture until I sobbed. He grabbed me by the waist and I was on top of him, straddling him.

"Come here", I called and sat him up. He held my shoulders, pulling me back, exposing my breasts to his mouth. I arched further back,moving slowly up and down his dick while he sucked and nibbled my nipples, one hand holding my hair, arching me even further while the other steadied me into an excruciatingly slow pace that left us both covered in sweat.

"Touch yourself Ro", he put his hand on my cheek, thumb in my mouth, making me open my eyes. "I love watching you do that".

I swallowed hard and put two fingers in his mouth which he then sucked. I began circling around my clit with those wet fingers, sucking his thumb that was still in my mouth.

His breathing was shallow and fast and when I opened my eyes I saw him looking at my face and then his gaze moved lower, across my torso and belly, to my fingers, leaving burning trail on my skin. He murmured something I didn't understand and puled me closer, hugging me so tight it I could hardly breathe. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began moving faster and faster, impaling myself on him, biting his shoulder so I could taste him.

He hissed from the pain and puled my head hard so he would kiss me, biting my lip so hard he drew blood, then licking and sucking the bite. We came together,mouth on mouth, limbs entangled, his rapid heartbeats echoing mine.

...


	11. Chapter 11

"Will you tell me what happened?"

We were resting in my bed. I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeats, drawing circles on his torso, safely tucked in his embrace. When he traced the scar on my forearm, I froze. I knew this moment was unavoidable, but was dreading it. I pressed closer to him, inhaling his scent, trying to sum my courage to go through it once again.

He kissed me on the forehead. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to".

"No" I shook my head and reluctantly freed myself from his embrace. I sat across from him as I couldn't bare him touching me, not while I relived that shit again. "I don't want to talk about it, but you should hear it".

I gave him a weak smile and began listing.

"The scars on my back are shrapnel wounds from Afghanistan. Land mine mixed with hot iron. It burned like a bitch". I paused thinking of the friends I lost.

"I was the lucky one. Guys in the car in front of ours were blown to pieces". I closed my eyes, the smell of burning flesh still lingering in my nostrils. "Our vehicle caught fire. I was bleeding like a pig and couldn't move, couldn't help him. He was just a kid, a 22 year old kid pretending to be a man, a reporter. He burned to death".

I clenched my fists. I couldn't look Chibs in the face. "I still see him sometimes in my dreams, screaming for me to help him. And I still can't move...Nor remember his name".

The room was silent. I could hear the passing cars, the noise from the street, my own breathing - shallow and fast.

"The hip wound was friendly fire in Iraq. Such a stupid phrase - friendly fire. I was patched in a shed by some Iraqi woman whose face was hide under her burka. I stayed with her a week and never once saw her face. She had golden eyes and her name was Aisha. I don't know what happened to her."

I pointed to my forearm. "Haiti. Fell into a fucking hole while photographing. Cut it all the way to the bone. It still hurts when its going to rain".

My head was throbbing and I my hands were trembling. I tried to smile and face the worst but couldn't. Filip was looking at me, his face unreadable. I longed for him to hold me and dreaded his touch, anyone touch.

Here we go. I couldn't recognize my voice, cold, detached, someone elses. I pointed to my stomach and shivered.

"I was married. A lifetime ago. We met at some art show in New Orleans. He was the most perspective prosecutor in the city. Generations of Cajun lawyers. I still remember his laughter, the greens of his eyes. I was young and foolish and, by his family standards, wrong for him - hippy reporter with no beauty, grace or connections".

Filip snorted but said nothing, waiting.

"We were happy for a while. I was ambitious and good at my job. He was even more ambitious. We were separated for a long periods of time, but when we were together sparks flew. I was so in love. So happy. He was jealous even though I had eyes only for him".

The scars itched and burned. "I had a few friends in New Orleans and all of them were men. Jake was particularly jealous at one of them - Sam, a local detective. Gay detective I should add but it didn't matter to him". I laughed but it was a hoarse, unnatural laughter.

"We were at some party and Sam and I were goofing around as always. I refused to give up on my friends despite what Jack and his family thought. He was drinking but no more than usual. And he was surprisingly cool about that evening. We returned home earlier as I had a flight in the morning".

All I saw now was Jack smiling at me in the kitchen and then his fist hit me in the face.

"He lost it. He kept calling me a whore, hitting and pushing me. I fought back and smacked him a few times. I think I grabbed a pan and hit him with it but not hard enough. He was strong. And enraged. He broke my arm and hit me in the stomach".

"I was struggling to get on my feet, all the time screaming we were through, that I hated his fucking guts. I managed to bite off a piece of flesh from his hand. He knocked me to the floor, kicking and hitting. He began raping me and I struggled to get him off me. We were on the counter and I remember him screaming 'Attone you fucking bitch! Fucking cry!'"

I grinned bitterly. "I didn't cry. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He grabbed the knife and at stabbed me in the stomach".

My head hurt and I could smell the metallic scent of blood mixing with the smell of nearby bayou. Chibs was sitting motionless and silent, the bloody knuckles on his hands were white and I could see the muscles of his shoulders twitch. I should wrap this up.

"He ran and left me to bleed out. Taxi driver found me the next morning, half dead", I looked at Chibs. "I lost the baby that night and the doctors said I'll never be able to have children".

Don't cry Ro, don't you shed a fucking tear, I kept telling myself,fighting back the tears. "His family got him off on a technicality. Sam was the investigating detective and they claimed he was too involved. I decided I want out of it. I got my divorce and a nice sum of money and left for Boston".

"I have a friend there, a SWAT team member I met while working on a story. We opened a bar together. He offered me a place to live and put up with my nightmares and crazy schedule for years. Jim got married last year and I decided it was time to split. I moved for a while and then Elliott offered Charming and here I am".

My face was wet from tears and I whipped them off angrily.

"I hear he's married now, has two kids, a practice and a permanent parking space at some country club".

All the time I was talking, I was picking on my cuticle which was now a sore and bloody. Chibs caught my hands with his ringed one and with the other he touched my chin so I'd look at him.

"I'm sorry lass. I;m so sorry", he pressed his forehead on mine. "I'll never let anything happen to you. I promise".

I buried my head in the cork of his neck and he held me close while I cried myself to sleep.

...

Chibs couldn't sleep. He was watching sleeping Ro in his arms and swore to himself he will cut out that prick's heart.

Its been years since he felt so helpless and desolate. He felt this powerless only when Jimmy O took his family away from him but even then he knew somewhere deep in his heart he will get them out somehow.

But when he saw Ro wipe angrily the tears his heart broke. She didn't deserve that. He admired her for taking the blows and staying on her feet.

He was thinking about Fi and their child. He loved them more than life itself and still longed for them, but Ro stirred something inside him and brought to life something that was dead and buried long time ago. For the first time in almost 15 years he had for a somewhat normal life. With a woman strong enough to handle his shadows and greys and evil ways.

Chibs could see himself grow old with Ro. Ro, not Fi. The catholic in him cried out in protest. Fiona was his wife,she was the one he was supposed to spend the life with, not Rowena. But it was Ro, with her laughter and hot temper and her strenght that he needed.

"I love you, I love you, I love you", he whispered the words in her hair, the words he couldn't say out loud to her.

...

He woke up in an empty bed. His cell was beeping - Jax calling to church.

Ro was in the kitchen, drinking her coffee, smoking in half light.

"Couldn't sleep?"

She shook her head. "No".

Chibs saw her bite her lip nervously.

"What is it?"

"I broke Gemma's nose"

He was so shocked he stopped in half motion, his mouth open.

"You did what?"

"I smacked her in the face"

There was a moment of silence and then Chibs started laughing.

"Stop that. Its not funny"

"Oh love",he wiped the tears, "its hysterical"

He tried to grow serious. "Why?"

Ro shrugged. "She pissed me me you were married so the two of us could never be"

She looked up. "You're not getting a divorce, are you?"

Chibs knelled next to her. "I can't Ro. I can't do that to my girls"

She nodded and he saw her face crumple so he took it in both hands. "Please try to has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I want you. I'm yours. Believe me I am. But I can't leave them."

Ro touched his face and kissed him softy. "I understand. I really do."

He kissed the palm of her hand. "Gemma's wrong Ro. So very wrong".

The phone rang again startling them.

"I have to go", he went for the door and then stoped and turned. "Your place or mine?"

"What? Tonight?"

"No. For good. I hate moving back and forth, so choose - your place or mine".

Ro was shocked. "You are actually saying we should live together?"

"Yes. I'd prefer my place as it is bigger and further away from the club, but this is fine too".

He saw her face go red then white then red again. "Ok", her voice was a squeak and they both laughed. "Your place, then".

He grinned, pleased. "I'll come by with a truck tonight and help you move". He came back to her and kissed her passionately, his dick going hard. She felt it too as she bit him lightly and pressed closer, moaning softly.

"You little wench" he whispered and with an effort moved away from her. "You'll pay for that".

She laughed huskily. "Promises, promises".


	12. Chapter 12

"Morning pussycat."

"Christ Happy, you scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here". I just stumbled out of bed, half asleep in Chibs' boxers and T shirt, cranky cause I returned from my trip only to find him leave early that morning with only a kiss and a promise of nice and dirty things we'll be doing when he returns.

Happy was sitting in the kitchen, sipping coffee, grinning at me. Its been weeks since I saw him,ever since that shooting. And I've missed his menacing presence and scary grin.

"Chibs asked me to keep an eye on you today."

"He asked you?" It didn't sound good. Since we started living together Filip only twice asked the prospects to keep me company and both times it was because he had to leave on some club business. Despite knowing there was nothing going on between Happy and me, his Sergeant at arms would be his last choice, so this meant trouble and that worried me.

Happy just nodded,still smiling and went to check out the fridge. "What's with all this girly, diet shit in the fridge? Where's the food?"

I lit a cigarette and took a sip of his coffee and almost spat it out - it was sweet and disgusting. "What diet shit? Its ham, cheese and yogurt. What do you want - a roast pig for breakfast to go with this excuse for a coffee?"

He laughed out loud, all the teeth flashing and leaned on the counter, watching me smoke. "Well I'm a big boy,pussycat. Eggs and bacon would keep me going for a long time".

I had to laugh. "You are aware I have to go to the bar tonight and that I have a shit load of stuff to finish today?"

"Yes mam! I'll be your slave today", he purred all cocky and confident and sexy.

I shrugged, playing it cool. "OK then. I'll feed you and then shamelessly use you".

We both laughed and he sat by the table, spreading sketches of his tattoos. They were amazing, intricate and dark and dangerous. I've cast a glance at them while preparing the breakfast.

"New order or just doodling?"

"Don't know yet. Why, you want me to ink you pussycat"?

"Not in a million years. I hate needles."

He looked up and watched me for a while trying to determine whether or not I was joking. When he realised I wasn't his laughter filled the entire house.

"Fucking precious!" he laughed.

"Stop laughing Happy. Its not fucking funny, having someone poke you with sharp, pointy motherfuckers",I hissed but couldn't fight off the smile. "Stop it or I'll serve you cereals and yogurt instead of bacon and eggs".

That was enough for him to get serious...for about two seconds. And then he continued laughing.

"Here. Eat and choke on it, you ass", I practically threw the plate at him and sat across trying to look angry. And failing royally.

I was worried. "Should I worry Happy?"

He stopped showing food down his throat and gave me a suddenly stern look. "No, babe. But if you stay with VP you'll have to deal with this shit often".

I nodded in agreement. He was right. I knew who Chibs was and what Sons did. I'll just have to conceal my fears and worries better.

"So kitty, how was your trip?"

"You know, the cat nicknames are as irritating as the bitch tag."

Teeth flashed again. "I can call you little sausage if you want".

He ducked fast enough to evade the apple I threw at him.

"Well, that's settled. Pussycat it is", he continued eating. "So, the trip? We were relived when you came back, all of us".

I was confused. I went to New York to sell a few of my photographs to a small photo gallery I worked with before and then had lunch with a friend from the National geographic who offered me to do a story on some archaeological dig in Arizona which I took as I needed the money. I was gone for three days and wasn;t even aware Samcro knew about it.

"It was productive. What did you mean when you said you were relieved?"

Happy leaned back in his chair, coffee in hand. "Chibs was a major pain in the ass. Like a fucking PMS girl. Even Tig couldn't calm him down".

I couldn't help but grin, delighted. He missed me.

"Oh stop that. Its me you should be thinking of, not some middle aged Scotsman", he grunted and got up to wash the dishes. "So, what's on today?"

"Shopping".

I swear I could hear his hear break.

"Relax big guy, its mostly photo equipment but I have to go to Stockton"

He almost cried from happiness.

"Of course, Stockton have a great mall, so we;ll stop there later. I need some shoes" I grinned wickedly and burst out in laughter watching his shocked and disgusted face.

...  
We had fun that day. He put up with an hour of my whining and cursing and the photo shop to get the equipment I needed and then we went to a local tattoo shop a friend of his owned. It turned out to be productive for both of us. I took photos and tested the new gear and Happy got the tattoo kit he needed.

It was weird walking on the street with Happy. I;ve noticed that despite his menacing looks, most of the girls turned around to eye him and toss me a curious glance. It did wonders to my ego, I had to admit.

"Why are you grinning. We've been walking for hours. I;m hungry," he grunted.

"Oh, nothing. I;m just enjoying our little walk".

"What?"

"Nothing" I grinned and pointed to a small diner.

He shook his head in disbelief. "Bitches are so goddamn weird".

When the food came I realised I was famished so I dug in, with both hands. I stopped when I saw Happy watching he half amused half disgusted.

"What", I asked, mouth full. "I'm hungry".

"Yes I can tell. Want mine as well,Piggy?"

"No", I whispered embarrassed and stoped eating.

Happy smiled and snatched a few of my fries. "Chicks!"

"Oh, fuck you"

"Gladly", he answered immediately making me giggle like a girl.

"So, Ro. What else did you plan?"

"Well, I have one errand I'd rather do alone. Can you wait for me here?"

He noticed I was uncomfortable and raised one eyebrow. "No, I can't. I'm coming with you."

Hell no! I needed underwear because Filip kept tearing mine and there is no way in hell I'm going to a Victoria secret with him. Although that would have been hilarious sight.

"Never mind, I;ll come back another time."

He leaned in his seat and studied me.

"Now you got me interested, so we're going today. I;ll behave I promise. What is it, some kinky shit?"

"No and we're not going."

"Oh yes we are!"

"Oh no we are not!"

"Look babe, we can do this all day but I'll win, so just give up and lead the way."

I threw my arms in the air frustrated. "Fine. I need to buy underwear and you'll stay outside the shop."

If he grinned any wider, his skull would drop from his mouth.

...  
"That colour sucks on you" I heard the hoarse voice behind me and literary jumped.

"Fuck Happy, what are you doing here? Get the fuck out!" I hissed and tried to cover my self in the cabin covered with mirrors, while Happy peeked through the door and grinned.

"Get lost will you!"

"Nah, I;m good", he answered coolly and inspected bras I brought in to try them on. He grew serious and when he looked at me I shivered uncomfortably.

"VP's a lucky guy Ro", he said slowly. "I'd go with those" he pointed to a black and champagne coloured lace bras.

"Please Happy, get out", I asked him quietly.

Something changed. He moved his fingers across my collarbone and then moved the back of his hand across my cheek. I saw him swallow hard and I could hear my own breathing - shallow and fast. I could feel my throat clench from desperation. I liked Happy, wanted him in my life. But I couldn't let this happen. Ever.

"Please", I managed to whisper and he turned around and walked out. I sat at the floor of the cabin, trying to calm down, hot tears of shame rolling down my face.

Fuck, fuck and fuck!What the fuck are you doing, you stupid bitch! I hissed at my reflection in the mirror before I walked out and saw Happy waiting for me, surrounded with colorful underwear. Any other day that would be enough to make me giggle hysterically. But not today. He looked at me and his face was cool, calm and unreadable.

"Are we done here?"

"Yes. Let's go."

He moved quickly to his bike and handed me the helmet without looking at me. I sat behind him.

"I'm sorry. It will never happen again. Ever", he told me over his shoulder.

I was both relieved and offended. Just like that? Never again? But I wanted Happy back, the scary, funny, tidy guy who teased me and made me laugh.

"Let's just forget it, ok? Friends?"

"Okay Ro", he nodded and started the engine.

The rest of the day we pretended all is ok, but that goofiness we shared disappeared and I felt like shit.

Chibs came just before closing,followed by Jax, Tig and Bobby. I just needed one look at his face to see that he and Jax had a fall out.

I kept my nose out of club business and tried to get involved as little as possible. Gemma was the biker queen and Tara was the one who will dethrone her. I saw Tara struggling with kids and job and the club, Gemma, charges and pitied her but couldn't help her. Gemma I loathed and tried to have as little as possible with her, which was easy to manage after our little fight.

But I knew Filip. He was proud of his VP status and cared about the club and loved Jax who was acting like a tyrant lately. And that drove Filip nuts. He was worried his selfish ways will bury Sons. with all the heat from the DA, the shooting in the school, Tara and Otto. I was worried too.

I waited until the closing to even touch him. I avoided PDAs as much as possible. We were walking to his bike when I finally reached and grabbed his arm. He turned, hugged me and buried his head in my neck. We stood there, quiet in the dark, while Chibs held me like his life depended on I held him like mine depended on that.


	13. Chapter 13

"Wanna tell me what happened?"

We were in the kitchen,drinking beer in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence but Chibs was tense and worried, playing with the lighter and deep in his thoughts.

I sat next to him and touched his face lightly to get his attention.

"Jax?"

He nodded tiredly and tried to smile. He wasn't in the mood to talk and I really didn't want to know so I just said "ok" and pulled him to his feet. Neville brothers were on the radio and we began slow dancing in the kitchen. I closed my eyes, savoring Aaron's angel voice, the way my body molded into Filip's, his strong and steady heartbeats,his hand under my shirt drawing circles on my skin, the saltines of his neck, the way I felt in his arms - at home.

"Ro..." there was tenderness and urgency in his voice. He pressed closer to me, one hand against my cheek, touching my lips lightly. I had a feeling he wanted to say something else but he just kept quiet, watching me. After a while I hid my face in his chest, the need and hunger in his eyes frightened me. But what frightened me even more, was the love I felt for him at that moment.

We were dancing for a while longer when his cell phone rang ruining the magic. By the way he answered, tense and ashamed I knew it was Fiona and I felt like someone poured cold water on me. The two of them talked once a week and I even opened a Skype account for him so he could also see his daughter. But the wife irked me more than I thought she would. It took all the strenght I had not to lash out at him when he would hang up all concerned and worked up.

"I'm going to bed", I told him across my shoulder. I couldn;t deal with Fiona right now, my head was spinning because of Happy, Chibs, the shit I got myself into.

When I got out of the shower he was undressing in our room, the cut and gun on the chair next to the bed. That chair was getting closer and closer to the bed. Chibs looked pissed off and sad at the same time and suddenly I wanted to pick a fight with him.

"I got a job offer and I'll be gone a few days. Some photo shoot in Arizona"

He turned abruptly, the line between his eyebrows deepening.

"You are not going. I can't take care of you in Arizona"

"I don;'t need being taken care of. I need the cash so I;m going".

He caught my arm. "What the fuck Ro? I'll give you the money."

"I don't take charity Filip. I can earn my money" I shook his hand off.

"Its not a charity", he was shouting now. "What's got into you? I;m not letting you leave. Not with this shit storm we're in. Fuck woman!"

"Don't fucking yell at me", I screamed back. "I'm not your wife Filip and you don't fucking own me!"

He hit the lamp, sent it flying across the room and it smashed in thousand of pieces against the wall.

"You are my woman!And I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get hurt just to prove a fucking point!"

I threw the book at him and yelled. "You have a woman in Ireland, remember asshole! A goddamn wife! So you can throw that biker old lady shit at her. But I'm not your property and you can;'t tell me what to do!" There, I said it. The wife thing that was bugging me.

He was silent and immobile. I saw him clench his fists, his jaw tightening.

"You said you understand", he was trying to control his voice.

"I do understand", I was trying to control myself as well. "But I hate it. And it fucking hurts".

I sat on the bed, suddenly tired of everything. I wished I could clap my heels and get the fuck out of Kansas.

"I love you FIlip. You are the missing piece of my great fucking puzzle. When I met you, everything fell in place. But Fiona's hurting me. I don;t mind the phone calls, the history, the kid you have. I;m happy you have your girl. But..." I sighed, realising that what I;m about to say will change things but unable to stop. "you never told me you love me, you never said 'I love you' and I need that. Call me hysterical or stupid or childish or selfish but I;d like to hear you tell me that. You told her those words, you have the goddamn ring and a child to prove it, and that hurts".

I looked up and saw him pacing up and down, half undressed, running his hand up and down his beard, chest rapidly moving.

"Do you love me?"

He was stil pacing, running his hands through his hair. But said nothing and I felt like an idiot.

I got up and began dressing. "I'll sleep at my place. I should return by Sunday. We'll talk then, if you want".

He stoped and looked at me with burning eyes, mouth pressed in a thin line. I hoped he'll grab me and kiss me and tell me he loves me and everything will be ok. But he just stood there, silent, watching me get dressed and I felt like a big, fat elephant sat on my chest. I grabbed what I could from the room and ran to the door, fighting back the tears.

I managed to get into the car and drove a few miles before I had to pull to the side. I got out of the car and started screaming and crying and hitting the stupid truck. I cried and screamed and hit until I was out of tears, throat hurting and knuckles bloody and throbbing.

Oh God! I slummed on the ground, breathing heavily, shaking. It hurt so much I thought I couldn't take another breath. It hurt even more than asshole's stabs and hits, the pain,anger and humiliation that followed.

I had no idea how long was I sitting in the dirt, shaking when I heard heard a Harley pull and Tig came.

"Hey babe, are you ok?"

He squatted in front of me and I saw worry in those piercing blue eyes of his. I couldn''t speak so I just shook my head, still shaking. He lit a cigarette and put it in my mouth, gently moving my hair from my face. I tried to inhale but couldn;t so he sat next to me and threw his arm around my shoulders and I began crying again.

"Its ok babe. Tig's here. Shhhh, don't cry love", he cradled me while I cried like an idiot, half of my brain aware of the absurdity of the situation - crazy Tig comforting even crazier Ro. I forced myself to stop crying and shaking and nearly managed. I could still feel the tears rolling but at least I wasn't trembling like some junkie.

"Can you ride? I'll take you home."

I still couldn't speak so I just nodded and he helped me to my feet. I sat behind him and he griped my hands reassuringly and I almost started crying again remembering how it felt when I first rode with Chibs. Tig took me home. It was surreal letting him undress me and put me in bed, gently murmuring and singing.

"I'll call one of the prospects to get your truck and I'll bring you something to drink", he said while leaving the room, leaving me alone, in the dark, with my thoughts. What have I done?

He returned soon enough with a bottle of Jameson and two glasses and we drank in silence until I couldn't feel my tongue anymore, nor my face and I passed out. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw Tig sit next to me in my bed, fully dressed, smoking and humming, one hand around my shoulders.

"Go back to sleep. Its ok", he whispered and I closed my eyes, grateful for that warm, callused hand on my shoulder.

...

Bobby was woken by a phone call in the middle of the night.

"What!?"

"Bobby, I need you to go to Chibs' place and check him out", he heard Tig's voice and something in it made him get out of the bed as quickly as possible.

"What's going on, brother?"

"I don't know. Found Ro by the side of the road, really close to Chibs' place. She's shaking like a junkie and not talking at all. I'm worried"

"I'm on my way".

Bobby was now worried. It didn;t sound like Tig to get upset so much over anyone so Ro must have been in a really bad shape.

He got to Chibs place in half an hour and found his VP in the bedroom, drunk.

"Get out Bobby" he slurred the words.

"No"

"Get out!" he yelled trying to stand up. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"No brother. I;m staying"

Chibs took a swing and missed falling on the floor and Bobby grabbed him, forcing him to his feet.

"Let's get you into a shower", he grunted under the weight of Chibs' drunk body and half dragged him half carried him to the bathroom. "Fuck, you're one heavy asshole", he cursed under his breath and watched as his VP sat on the floor of the shower, cold water running over him.

"I'll make some coffee and then we'll talk", Bobby went out but froze when he heard the sound behind him. He turned around to see Chibs hiding his face in his hands, his body convulsing. He was crying.

"Shit Chibs", he whispered and went to the kitchen.

He waited until Chibs got dressed and took a sip of coffee, hot liquid burning his tongue.

"I don't want to talk about it Bobby"

"Ok. What do you want?"

"I want to get shit faced drunk, pick up some crows and let them fuck my brain out", Chibs answered.

"And Ro?"

"What about Ro? She;s not an old lady"

The tone with which he said that made Bobby's eyebrows go sky high.

"She's not? Good. Then you won't mind me going after her?"

That produced a reaction Bobby was hoping for. Chibs jumped to his feet and swung again, hitting his brother in the jaw but this time Bobby's fist hit him in the face, blood splashing all over the table. Bobby hit him again and again, until Chibs was kneeling on the floor, struggling to get up.

"You stupid, thickheaded Scottish bastard!", Bobby cursed. "How stupid can you be?"

Chibs got up, blood dripping from his nose and mouth. He put up a chair and sat, spiting blood.

Bobby sat as well, watching him carefully.

"I'm sorry brother", Chibs finally said, his voice hoarse and broken.

"'ts OK"

Chibs laughed bitterly. "Its far from OK Bobby".

"Women", Bobby shrugged. "Can't live with them, can't live without them"

"Yeah" the other man nodded and they sat in silence.

...

I woke up late the next day, head twice the size, throbbing, mouth dry. Tig was gone and Lyla came by to check me out. I saw pity in her eyes and that made me get up and grow a spine.

The bar was full, thank God, so I managed to keep my mind of Chibs although I looked up with anticipation every time the door opened. He never showed and I left for Arizona the next day with a heavy heart, fearing I fucked everything up.

The trip did me good, or so I thought. I went there earlier than planned and camped in the desert, watching the sky, impossibly blue during the day and covered in bright stars at night. I was alone in that desert and blank and numb and for a second I imagined how good it would be to just stay there forever.

I left the next day. I found my archaeologists and we did a nice story on their new Indian finds. I even managed to laugh a little and enjoy the work. I forgot how much I used to love working on these stories, being in the open, in the trenches, learning something new, meeting interesting, smart, educated people, not being shot at.

We were sitting by the campfire on my last night with them, laughing at some stupid joke one of the guys made when their team leader Joan came and sat next to me. I liked her. She was capable, sure of herself, smart and funny and I liked talking to her about nothing in particular.

"Its nice here, isn;t it?"

"Yeah, it is" I looked up to my starry sky, humming "Starry, starry night" and Joan laughed.

We were quiet for a while, sipping coffee and smoking.

"What was the fight about?"

I looked at her shocked and turned red. Was I so obvious? She smiled and patted my knee.

"Don't worry, you weren't obvious. I'm just old and observant"

"You are not old Joana"

"Oh sweetheart. I'm 70. I am ancient", she laughed and I suddenly wanted to put my head in her lap and let her play with my hair like my mother did when I was a little girl, before she fell sick.

She must have saw that to, as she caressed my cheek and said "there, there, little girl, its ok"

I shook the tears away. I was done with crying. It just made me feel bad and ashamed after. I told her in short strokes what happened between Chibs and me and she listened without interrupting. It felt good talking to someone. I never had a girl friend to confide to nor did I felt the need, but tonite, it felt ok.

"I fucked up Joana. I said I was ok with him being married and I wasn't so I picked up a fight."

She said nothing, just looked at the flames but I saw her lips move into a smile.

"He never once told me he loved me. I can tell it from his actions, the way he's looking at me or touching me, but he never said it", my voice was the voice of a scared little girl so I stopped, embarrassed and disgusted with my whining.

"Ah, the beauty of being old and free of passion", she smiled again and spilled the remaining coffee from her mug. "From what I gathered he loves you little girl, more than you know and obviously more than he would like you to know. If he's smart, this time apart will do him good. If he's stupid, than you don't need that kind of a man in your life". She patted me on the cheek and went to sleep.

I stayed awake, watching the sunrise, silently hoping and praying.

...

**Thank's for reading! Hope you'll like it and review it!**


	14. Chapter 14

The drive home didn't do much to calm me down. I kept playing every possible scenario in my head - from the romantic one where he'd wait for me, proclaim his love, beg for forgiveness and we'd live happily ever after, to the more realistic one in which he'd tell me he loves his wife and I was just a fling, to all those in between - the making up, the fights and me ending up with a broken heart.

By the time I reached Charming, I was on the verge of just driving through, running away. And regretting for ever. So I took a deep breath, tried to bargain with the guy above and went home.

Lyla was waiting for me. The bar was pretty much empty at this time of day and I was grateful for her kindness. I really liked that girl and wanted to help her out.

"I'm sorry Lyla"

"For what?"

We were sitting in the bar, chatting about nothing much although I was dying to hear the news of Chibs.

"For being such a bitch"

She smiled and patted me on the knee and I realised at that point, really comprehended, she wasn't that much younger than me and she's been through stuff too.

"I really am sorry", I mumbled, suddenly ashamed of my behaviour, my need to present myself as someone wise and more knowing than her.

"He's been missing for days. Ever since you left", Lyla said. "Bobby and Tig went there a few times but he kicked them out".

I squeezed my temples, trying to fight off the headache and think. But then a group of noisy medics came in and we were back to work.

The crowd was starting to wear out when Tig came.

"Ro babe, welcome back!" He grinned and pinched my ass. "Did you miss me",he asked dead serious making both Lyla and me giggle.

I kissed his cheek. "As a matter of fact, I did miss you".

He grinned again and threw one arm across my shoulders, kissing me on the forehead. "Its good you're back". He meant that,I could tell. "How are you doing,babe?"

"I don't know", I leaned on him. "I never get the chance to thank you for that night".

He squeezed me harder and then a gorgeous redhead caught his eye.

"Go, fornicate", I pushed him and with one gorgeous smile from him, he was gone. The familiar combo of leather,aftershave, cigarettes and the road hit me like a fist in the gut and my skin crawled, yearning for Chibs' touch. From that moment on, I switched to autopilot, going through the motions, serving drinks, smiling and chatting, waiting for the night to end so I could be alone and dreading yet another lonely night.

I sent Lyla home and after seeing Tig take of with the red haired chick and her girlfriend I closed for the night.

"Leave now".

The voice startled me. Tara stepped into the light as I was walking up the stairs to my apartment.

"Shit Tara, you scared the shit out of me"

I watched her closely. She looked frightened and jumpy, unlike herself.

"Are you ok? What happened?"

"You need to leave this poisonous place, right now Ro",she grabbed my arms. Her hands were freezing despite the warm night. "If you stay here, you'll get killed or worse, end up like me. Please, leave"

"Tara, what's wrong?" I tried to calm her, taking her hands in mine but she just shook her head.

"Listen to me, leave while you still can". She was almost hysterical now. "He won't be enough, his love won't be enough".

Before I could say or ask anything else, she snatched her hands from my grip and disappeared, leaving me on the stairs. I had to sit down, my legs just gave up. What happened? Things were clearly falling apart and it took all I had left not to run to Filip's place and...do what? I didn't know. I needed him so bad that my body hurt, but more than that I wanted him to love me and as time went by I wasn't sure if he did.

Get a grip Drake and stop whining,I said to myself and went upstairs, Tara's face haunting me.

...

"You look like shit"

"Compliments will get you nowhere Lowman".

The radio was playing "Streets of fire" soundtrack and I had to smile while watching Happy hum absentmindedly to "Nowhere fast".

I was trying to gather my thoughts and sum the courage to go and see Chibs. If the axe is going to fall, than I'd rather it fell sooner than later.

Happy sat across from me and I saw a cut on his cheek.

"Another fight?"

"Kind of". There was darkens and simmering anger in his eyes and voice. But then he smiled and all that disappeared making me wonder if I had imagined all of it.

"So, kitty, how was your trip. Did you find some exciting old bone?"

I laughed. "It was fun. Reminded me why I used to love my job. And I got some cash and kick ass Indian jewelry. So, you could say it was successfully".

"Bitches. Driving thousand of miles for a fucking necklace", he said shaking his head.

We chuckled and then drank our coffee in silence. I saw him look at me from time to time.

"What?"

He moved his hand across his head,nervous and suddenly I knew what he was planning to say.

"Look Ro,I ..."

"No, you look Hap",I interrupted him. I couldn't let him touch me. I was way too attracted to him. And I cared way too much to allow that shit to happen. "I love you Happy, very much. And in another life I'd fall for you head over heels,but now, in this one, I can't".

"Can't or won't?"

"Both Happy. I love him", I stopped as I couldn't find the words.

He took my hand in his and kissed my palm, sending shivers down my spine. He smiled knowing the effect he was having on me, but kept still, putting my hand on his cheek and closing his eyes. I gently rubbed my thumb across his brows, nose and lips, memorizing the way his skin felt under my fingertips, the softens of his lips, both shocked by my desire to kiss him and certain I will never have this chance again, we'd never be this close again.

He cupped my face with his hands, tracing the lines of my face with his eyes, the same way as I was touching him, memorizing it. I closed my eyes unable to bear what I saw in his and held his hands, desperately wishing I could somehow show him how much I cared for him.

Happy pressed his head on mine. "Bloody hell" I heard him say. "He's one lucky son of a bitch".

"I'm sorry Hap"

"Ahm, am I interrupting something?"

Happy's head snapped and I got on my feet. Roosevelt was standing in the doorway, smug smile on his face.

"No sheriff. What brings you here? Have you found out who opened fire on my bar?"

He came closer, taking his sunglasses off. He put them on the table and sat,motioning to both of us to sit as well.

"No, miss Drake", he was pissed at me for reminding him of his failure. "I'm here on another business. I'd like to know where were the two of you on the 27th and 28th?"

I frowned confused.

"I was working in Arizona on a story. You can check with the National geographic"

Roosevelt turned to Happy.

"And you Mr Lowman. Were you in Arizona too?"

Happy's face was like a stone mask. "No. I was in Tacoma, visiting my mother. Feel free to ask her Roosevelt"

"Do you mind telling me what's the purpose of these questions Roosevelt?", I cut in.

"Your ex husband Jake Deveroux is missing. And since I heard you parted in less than amicable ways, I wanted to check it out,help colleagues from New Orleans. Mister Lowman here was just a bonus".

I was dizzy and felt sick but I wouldn't give Roosevelt the satisfaction of seeing me upset so I clenched my fists and my jaw and gave him the coldest look I could muster.

Roosevelt smiled at me and I saw a touch of admiration in his eyes.

"Well, I'll leave you two to catch up", he got up and started walking away before he turned around again.

"Oh, miss Drake, was mister Telford accompanying you on your business trip?"

"No", I said through my clenched teeth. "I like to work alone"

He nodded. "He said something similar". He was in Reno, if you're interested". And with that he left.

I sat for a while silent and numb, waiting for Roosevelt's words to sink into me. Jacke was missing? I hoped that son of a bitch died slowly and painfully.

I saw Happy get up and suddenly I noticed that cut of his again. And what the fuck was Chibs doing in Reno?

"Christ Happy, what did you do?"

He gave me a cold, warning look, hugged me, kissed the top of my head and left.

...

**Hm,**

**I'm not quite sure what happened here. It seems my story has a life/mind of its own. I really wasn't planning to write a melodrama with "does he love me" whining and "i suffered but I'm back stronger than ever" crap. But its seems I'm writing just that so I am now seriously considering wrapping this story up as quick as possible. Your thoughts, comments, ideas are more than welcome.**


	15. Chapter 15

My hands were shaking so hard I barely managed to put the keys in the lock. I was so angry and upset and worried when I ran to Filip's place that I didn't even stop to think. Jake was missing, and both Happy and Chibs had something to do with it. I knew it,deep in my heart, and I was terrified for both of them.

I really didn't expect to find Chibs at home so when I marched into a house we once shared and found him in the kitchen making coffee I was so startled I turned around and tried to get out.

"Ro, stop! Stop!" he grabbed my arm, forcing me to turn around and face him.

He was naked from the waist up and the second I registered that I remembered how his skin felt under my fingertips, how it tasted, the weight of his body on mine. I wanted him so badly I could hardly breathe, let alone think.

I looked up to his face, ashamed how my traitorous body reacted, frightened and pissed off and then I saw his eyes, the fear and weariness and desperation as well as desire and that something I wanted him to say, to assure me.

"Bloody hell Filip. What did you do?"

"Made coffee?"

"Don't joke! Don't you dare joke! Roosevelt came and told me about Jake. I know you had something to do with it. Fuck! What did you do? What..."

"I love you"

"were you thinking? Why? That son of a bitch..."

"I love you"

"is not worth it", I was babbling hysterically, terrified someone will figure it out and take him away from me. "That asshole is not worth it. I can't...wait,what did you just say?"

"I love you Ro. I love your strenght and gentleness and your stubbornness and kindness, the way your nose move when you talk, how you tilt your head to the right when listening. I love your laughter and how you sing out of key. I love that foul mouth of yours and everything they do to me. I love how smart and capable and educated you are and how totally ignorant and naive you are in some things. I love your toughness and when your ears turn red when embarrassed. I love every scar, dimple, mark,mole on your body, every toe you paint in those awful blues and greens. I love your delicate fingers and that tight pussy of yours and how you lit up from the inside when I touch you".

I stood there, completely numb and shocked and frightened and... happy.

"I'm sorry babe for not telling you sooner how wonderful I think you are, how much I love you. Please, forgive me. Please", he smiled now, like a boy caught in mischief. "I promise I'll put the toiled seat down and wash the dishes occasionally. And I'll try not to ruin every crappy drama movie you rent with my shouts and laughs".

He was serious again and nervous.

"Shit Ro", say something, please".

I tried to clear my throat and swallow. "I don't sing out of key. And you could take out the trash occasionally, as well".

"Babe..." he cupped my cheek and I lowered my gaze for a second. And then I saw it. The redness around large dark letters was fading but was still visible. His entire right forearm was covered in letters. It said "Rowena".

"Oh" I managed to say and gently touched the tattoo. He took my hand and placed it across heart and the "Kerrianne" tattoo.

"I'd tattoo it on my heart Ro. You are the master of it".

I kissed him, unable to listen anymore to the sweet words he was telling me. It was too much. "Stop please. You had me at the first 'I love you'"

He chuckled. "You mean the third?"

I tried to push him away, pretending I was angry, but he drew me closer and suddenly I had enough of fears and doubts.

I took his tattooed hand and traced every line with my tongue, making him growl. I pushed him away to take off my shit and slowly moved across the hall to the bedroom, undressing as I went. He was behind me, keeping his distance, watching me undress.

I glanced over my shoulder at him and smiled wickedly. "I'll show you what my foul mouth can do to you VP".

...

**This one is kinda short, but I hope you'll like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	16. Chapter 16

J**ust a heads up: first part of the chapter is smut. I can't help myself,sorry :) So those who are fed up with my Chibs fantasies, should skip to the second part of the page.**

**That being said, thank you for reading, reviewing and following!**

He watched her undress and felt his dick twitch with every move she made. He wanted to run to her and grab her but the look she gave him was filled with promises of wicked, sexy things so he fought back his urge and let her lead.

He was delirious after telling her he loved her. Grateful she loved him back. And shocked she wasn't the way he imagined telling her. He had the whole, romantic big gestured setting in his head but when he saw her, words just flew surprising even him.

His mind went blank when he came in the room and saw her stand next to the bed, waiting for him. The noon sun shone on her and Ro looked like she was on fire. She got some tan on her face, arms and shoulders and he smiled when he saw the outlines of the shirts she was wearing while in the desert. The rest of her body was milky white and he wanted to lick and kiss every inch of it.

He undressed and stoped in front of her, shocked again how actually tiny she was compared to him. She pressed closer and suddenly her posture changed from sexy and seductive to frightened and insecure. He lifted her chin and the look he saw on her face broke his heart. He hurt her,deeply, and he saw that pain lurking behind her eyes.

"I'm sorry Ro", he murmured. "I'm so sorry for being such an idiot".

She kissed him, desperately, like she was looking for confirmation and he tried to pour all the love he felt for her in that kiss.

"I love you, I love you, I love you", he repeated and went on his knees, holding her tight.

She grabbed him by his hair and pulled his head so he could look at her. She held his face with both her hands. "Please, try not to break my heart again",she was smiling now and he saw the pain subdue, but it was still there and he knew it will never go away .

"I promise, love", he grabbed her in his arms and laid her on the bed, covering her body with his. She was in his arms now, where she needed to be and he felt whole again.

He watched her face,completely mesmerised by the position of freckles on her nose, the soft curves of her lips, the line between her brows that slowly began to fade.

Ro opened her eyes and watched him back, touching his cheek with her hand, fingers running down his scar to his lips. Then she kissed him, her lips catching his bottom lip, her tongue entering his mouth, and rolled him to his back.

He hissed when her tongue traced his throbbing cock and then her mouth closed on him while her hand stroked and pulled creating the friction he needed. With every movement of her tongue and hand he was getting closer and closer and he didn't want to finish like that. He wanted her to come under him and he wanted to watch her come.

"Stop Ro! Christ..." she cut him off in mid sentence when her tongue slid in the slit at the head of his dick. His hips tilted and he grabbed the sheets, almost tearing them. She played with it with her tongue, stroking him until his tighs began to tremble and he came, long and hard, crying out her name.

Chibs opened his eyes after a few moments and saw Ro siting across from him, smiling and with a wicked glee in her eyes.

"Christ almighty", he breathed out but then she bent her knees and spread her legs wide,exposing her pussy to him and he caught his breath, shocked and excited at the same time.

She lazily smiled and arched her back a bit, tits in full view.

"Ro? What are you doing?", he could barely talk, his mouth were dry as a fucking desert. He watched mesmerized as she licked her fingers and began circling and playing with her nipples.

"Consider this my little payback", she whispered and moaned a bit, her hand moving to her pussy, the other still playing with her breast. "I want you, so you better be ready soon".

"Bloody hell woman!" He desperately wanted her but wasn't sure if he will be up for the task, not after what she just did to him.

Now the other hand was also between her legs, playing, circling, entering and he felt his dick go hard and thanked the lord above for it. He resisted the urge to stroke it a little, enjoying the show in front of him.

Ro was panting now, her skin going rosy and covered with sweat, fingers circling rapidly. He waited until she was close and then grabbed her and dug into her making her cry out.

He rolled out of her almost completely, ignoring her protest cries and then jammed into her, hard and aggressive, just the way they both liked it. With each excruciatingly slow movement of his hips her nails dug into his flesh more deeply, making him his from pain.

"Filip" she called him and he continued his sweet torture. Both of them were now covered in sweat and gasping for air. He leaned to kiss her, mouth crushing hers, teeth biting her lips. She wrapped her legs around his back and he jammed even more brutally into her making her scream from pleasure.

He didn't let her ride her orgasm but swiftly moved lower and began circling around her clit with his tongue, holding her immobilised, while she panted and whimpered and came again crying out his name. He then slid into her again and came almost immediately, grinning contently.

...

"Why such a smug face?", she stretched lazily and pressed next to him.

"Well, I'd say I have every reason to be smug and grinning, girl", he replied, holding her with one hand, the other searching for smokes.

"You pompous ass", she chuckled.

He laughed and grabbed her ass making her giggle even more. "Yes, but I'm one happy pompous ass".

They were silent for a while, both in their thoughts.

"I asked Fi for a divorce", he suddenly said and she got up, turning to see his face. "That day you left".

Ro was silent, waiting for him to finish. He couldn't read the expression on her face. "She was pissed and said 'no', threatening to cut me off from my girl".

He went through his hair with his hand, holding the smoke, fighting the urge to yell. The frustration from those phone calls still way to fresh. He smiled at Ro, gently, and touched her cheek. "She sent the papers yesterday".

"And your kid?", Ro asked quietly. "Will you be able to see her?"

He nodded."Yes. Her mother and I had a little talk". There was something dark and grave in those words and it made Ro shiver.

He did it for her and she knew she should be happy, but she wasn't. He sensed her body tense and kissed her. "It wasn't fair to you nor to Fi to continue with that bullshit. And I love you girl,so much. Too much, I fear, for my own good".

Suddenly, Ro was pissed off. He put her through all that shit because he, what, loved her to much? "And you couldn't have told me that that night? I asked you if you loved me and you kept quiet", she screamed at him "What the fuck! I fell to pieces because of... what "?

She hit him on the chest with her fist, her face twisted in an angry and painful mask. "You prick! Don't touch me!", she tried to move away from his arms but he was stronger and soon she was lying under him, struggling to free herself.

"Stop that,will you! Just stop and listen", he growled at her, trying to pin her down and evade her kicks and teeth. "I was fucking petrified! Can't you understand that?"

She stoped struggling and both were panting. He still wouldn't let go. "You are so young and beautiful and smart and funny and here I was, an old, ugly asshole with a record, no future and nothing to give you. And for some reason you liked me. And things were moving so fast I couldn't wrap my head around it. One day we were fucking around and the next, we were living together and I couldn't fucking live without you. You were so goddamn fearless and I kept waiting to fuck up".

His face was twisted painfully and his grip was crushing her but she kept still and quiet. She was still hurt and angry but his words soothed her.

"I'd give up everything for you Ro, even my brothers if you ask me to", he said through his clenched teeth hoping she'll understand. "I'd die for you".

"And kill?" She whispered. He said nothing, only held her closer,but the look he gave her was the same as the look Happy had when she asked him about Jake. Ro knew better than to push further. Jake was dead. She tried to find some remorse in her heart, some pity or outrage, but she couldn't. She was rejoicing the fucker was dead and didn;t care if that made her a bad just hoped he died screaming.

She kissed Filip's hand and pressed his palm on her cheek. "Hold me", he asked him, nesting in his arms, safe from everything and everyone. "Pull that shit again and I swear to God I'll hurt you even worse than you hurt me", she promised him and Chibs knew she meant it.

He watched her sleep for a while, her hand resting on "her" tattoo. He asked Happy to ink him for the same reason he asked him to come with him to New Orleans. To show him Ro was his. To warn him what would happen to anyone who tried to take her away from him. Chibs wasn't blind. He knew Ro had feelings for Happy and his Sergeant at arms was totally smitten. He knew Happy would never put a woman before a Brother but love is a strange thing.

As if she sensed what he was thinking,she pressed closer to him and murmured in her sleep "I love you VP, go to sleep now".

...


	17. Chapter 17

"Come to the party with me".

We were in the kitchen, talking about nothing much when he mentioned the party Sons were having that night.

"Its just a small party and I'd like to be there with you,show you off a bit".

The invitation surprised me. I stayed clear of the Sons apart from seeing them in my bar. Chibs told me things, confided in me, but I kept my nose out of their business and he was perfectly fine with that.

Because of Happy I tried to have as little contact as possible. Its been weeks since I saw him and I missed him. He stayed clear of me and even if he came to the bar he was always with someone. I sensed something went down between Filip and him but asked nothing, hoping Chibs will simmer down. And my own feelings towards Happy will change.

"Are you sure you want me there?"

He took my hand and kissed it. "I want you everywhere with me Ro". He grinned "If you behave, I'll show you my room".

"Sure VP, always wanted to see why you guys make so much noise", I grinned back."Pick me up at the bar around nine? I'll ask Lyla to come by earlier".

"OK love" He was out for the door when I stoped him. "Anything I should know? Secret handshake? Dress code?"

He came back and kissed me hard, grabbing my ass. "No secret handshake. Just wear something that comes off easily so I won't have to tear it up". He kissed the tip of my nose and left.

...

I finished dressing up right on time. I had no idea what came over me,but I wanted to look sexy that night. Like, smoking hot sexy. And judging by the look on Chibs face,I did.

"Sweet Mother Mary! You can't go there in that Ro. I'll have to fight with practically every guy there"

I grinned pleased. "Come now VP, you wanted to show me off"

"Yes,but not so much", he was almost desperate now.

I was wearing a simple, sleeveless, black maxi dress which fitted me like a glove. It was cut low on the back,all the way to my ass and I looked damn good in it. When he saw me, Filip was speechless for a moment. But when I turned around he almost had a heart attack.

"At least put on some jacket"

I laughed out loud and patted him on the cheek. My ego the size of an elephant.

"Not in a million years VP. Come, show me off"

He grunted and we went out.

The party was what I expected, full of bikes,bikers, crows, drinks and loud music. The second Tig saw Chibs trying to hide my back he was on to us,dragging me to the dance floor.

"Relax VP. She's safe with me", he shouted at Filip and spined me around. Chibs looked as he was going to punch him but then Jax came and dragged him to the tables, winking at me.

I danced with Tig, trying to escape his roaming hands, laughing at his jokes and latter with Bobby and Juice, and I was having a great time.

I saw Tara in the crowd and tried to talk to her but she just shook her head and disappeared in the club. She worried me and when I saw Gemma eyeing her, I shivered uncomfortably. After our fight, biker queen stayed clear of me and I returned the favour. She nodded when she saw me and turned her attention elsewhere. I forgot about her that same second.

I was about to go to Filip when I saw Happy with two girls approaching. My heart skipped a beat. He looked good. Dangerous and grumpy but good.

"Nice dress kitty".

"Nice accessories"

He chuckled but said nothing and eyed me from head to toe. I felt like my skin was on fire and turned my back to him just in time to see that same bitch from my opening party cling to Chibs again.

I could still feel Happy's eyes on me and the sight of those two gashes by his side pissed me off so much I stormed to where Chibs was talking to Jax and Tig. I grabbed that bitch by her bleached blond hair and smashed her face on the table before turning to Chibs who was looking at me amused.

I pressed close to him, ignoring the cheers, grabbed his crotch and run my tongue across his neck.

"Wanna show me your room VP", I asked hoarsely.

He grabbed my ass and lead me to the club, ignoring the shouts and whistles. The bitch cried just loud enough to draw the attention to us and my little spectacle.

He was pleased with himself. I could tell that by the way he walked all cocky. He pushed me into a small room and locked the door.

I leaned on the door that had a mirror all the way down. The mirror was cool against my burning skin.

"What the fuck was that?" He leaned on the bed.

"That bitch had it coming. Ever since that night". I pulled my dress a bit, exposing my biker boots. "And if you think I'm going to let some blond bimbo grope you, you are wrong".

I pulled my dress some more, my knees showing and saw him fix his eyes on the rim. "Plus, you liked that. Me fighting over you".

He chuckled and I pulled the dress even more, exposing my tighs and saw him swallow hard, eyes fixed on my legs. That felt so good.

He got up and I pulled my dress all the way up stoping him in his stride.

"Christ almighty", he gasped and I smiled, pleased with his reaction. I had no underwear and the Polish beautician Lyla sent me to did a great but bloody painful job waxing me so I was smooth and silky.

"Well VP, you asked for something that comes off easily", I purred as I saw him approach,the budge in his pants growing with each step.

I was already dripping from the looks he gave me. And slamming that bimbo's face did nothing to crumb my libido.

"God damn it Ro! Cover yourself,girl", he growled all tensed.

"Don't you want me VP" I teased.

He was gasping for air, devouring me with his eyes.

"Shit Ro. I want you so I'm afraid I'll hurt you. Don't..." he hissed when I turned my back to him, bottom exposed and watched him in the mirror.

Whether because of that bitch, or the look he gave me, or the jealousy over those two gashes clinging to Happy, I was on fire and wanted him to take me, hard and fast and brutally and fuck away any thought I had of Happy.

He pressed on me, grabbing my hair with one hand, while whit the other he jammed his dick in me, watching me in the mirror.

"Damn it Ro, you asked for it"

I smiled satisfied and leaned my hands on the mirror. He pulled my dress from my shoulders, exposing my breasts and I watched fascinated how he played with them, rolling my nipples between his fingers, squeezing them.

He stayed still and I pushed my ass on him. "Please"

"Please what Ro" he tortured me, circling slowly around my clit but still not moving.

I could feel the pressure building between my legs and tried to move, but he stoped me. "I want to hear you say it"

"Fuck me VP", I moaned and saw him smile that lazy, sexy smile I loved.

"Lean on the mirror Rowena",he instructed me and I pressed both hands on it. He rammed hard in me, making me yelp and I pushed against him. He pulled back all the way and I cried in protest. "Don't. I need you in me".

He slid back in, all the way and I arched back, changing the angle of his entrance. I gasped for air and closed my eyes when he hit particularly sensitive spot.

"Open your eyes, love. I want you to look at me"

He bit me on the shoulder, jamming hard in me, fingers circling my clit and my nipple. It felt so good.

"Tell me how you want it", he panted in my ear, his Scottish accent made my skin crawl.

"Harder" I managed to squeeze through my dry mouth and he pushed harder, rolling slowly all the way out and then pushing back in. He moved at that excruciatingly slow pace until my legs began to tremble. He let go of my breast and moved one hand up to my throat, squeezing gently, while the other played with my clit, making me whimper from delight,all the time rolling in and out of me.

I came hard,almost sobbing.

He turned me around,hooked my one leg over his hip and slid in me again, hands squeezing my ass, one finger playing around the other entrance. My body was running hot and cold, the cool surface of the mirror against my bare back,the callused fingers circling and playing, his hot and throbbing rod moving in me, filling me whole.

"Oh...my...God", I moaned as he speed up the tempo. "Please don't stop". I wrapped myself around him and we came almost together. Me screaming and him grunting, loud enough to draw another round of applause and cheers from the corridor.

"Fuck off", he roared and I hid my face in the cork of his neck, giggling.

He cupped my face and kissed me hard and possessive.

"Crazy girl", he laughed.

We were decent enough when we heard Jax shouting for everyone to get out. Chibs showed me out of the room and in the street.

"Wait here" he shouted at me and ran back to the building to get Jax.

"Filip!" I screamed and began to run to the club. Then I saw Jax run out with Abel in his hands followed by Chibs and everything went fucking "boom".

...

**Another chapter another smut. Sorry :)**

**I'll behave from now on. Hope you like it, though.**

**Thank you for reading, faving, following and reviewing.**


	18. Chapter 18

The explosion in the club changed things. One could feel the tension building and knew It was only a matter of time before everything will go to hell.

Filip was barely home and when he came, he was usually too tired and wired for any kind of talk.

One evening I was just finishing making dinner when he came in. The look on his face - hurt and shocked and terrified freaked me out.

"Jesus Filip! What happened" I ran to him and he grabbed and hugged me so hard I could hardly breath. I held him close, waiting for him to calm down and tell me what happened. I could feel his heart beats under his cut and his arms around me, clinging on desperately.

"Darling?", I whispered and moved my head a bit so I could look at him.

He was pale and looked haggard and I realised, for the first time since I;ve known him, he was old and tired of this life.

"Oh babe", I whispered again and hugged him, wishing I could help him somehow, take away his pain. "Shh, its ok".

"Christ love, everything is falling to pieces", he murmured in my hair. He cupped my face with his hands. "Please, don't leave me Ro".

I grabbed his hands shocked. "I;m not leaving". What happened?

He pressed his head on mine and closed his eyes. "Tara's gone" he sighed. "She took the kids. Jackie boy is out of his mind".

I nodded, not sure how to respond. So she left. Good for her. I was frightened for her. What will Jax do when he finds her? And he will find her. She's a smart woman, she didn;'t just pick up and leave, she must have planned it. I hoped she'll get away. That look on her face, the desperation and determination in her eyes still haunted me. And I was worried about Filip who was trying to hold the club together while Jax was pushing his agenda. What will happen now?

"Promise me Ro. Promise you won't pack up and leave. Christ girl, I couldn't take it".

I grabbed his hair, forcing him to look at me. "I love you VP. I'm not going anywhere". I kissed him with everything I got, cursing this wretched life and my helplessness.

"Come. Let's go to bed. We'll figure something out tomorrow". I puled him to our bedroom. He fell asleep in my arms, like a child, holding on to me, head on my belly, and I touched his scared face and caressed his hair, memorizing every hair, line, mark on him.

I had this nagging feeling in my stomach something bad will happen and I prayed Chibs will be spared. The very notion of him being hurt or worse cut me like a knife.

"Please God", I whispered in the dark, fighting back the tears of fear.

...

Business was slow that day and I spent most of the afternoon gazing through the window, waiting for something to happen. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't hear him come in.

"Hey pussycat"

I literary jumped up. "Fuck, you scared me!"

"Sorry".

I leaned back and watched him smoke. There was something on his mind and it was big. He had that look on his face.

"Come on Happy. Spit it out".

He grunted and before I could say anything else he grabbed my arm and pushed me in the back room.

"Shit Happy, let go!" I tried to break free. Something in his eyes frightened me. "What are you doing? Stop!"

He slammed me against the wall and kissed me. It was a brutal kiss, teeth biting, tongue probing, pushing. It hurt and was exciting at the same time. Kind of like the guy kissing me.

I still tried to push him away but it was like trying to move a rock. And the feel of his chest muscles under my fingers was exciting. He pushed himself on me and I felt his hands go to my ass pushing me on him.

I hugged him and his hand moved from my ass, under my shirt to my breasts. I hooked one arm against his hip, grinding on him. I pushed my hands under his shirt, touching his muscled torso, enjoying the sensation of his warm skin on mine.

He pushed his hand in my pants and touched my wet and throbbing pussy, making me moan. He pushed a finger in me and I shivered around him, the voice in my head screaming.

"Stop Happy. I cant", I pleaded, my body telling a different story.

He pushed another finger in me and I hissed from pleasure at the same time trying to push him away.

"Tell me you don't want this".

"Please Happy, let me go", I wanted to cry. "Don't do this".

He began moving his fingers and I gasped for air, wanting desperately his dick instead of his fingers and at the same time still trying to resist him. He moved his hand between us and I hissed from pain, stopping him.

"What the fuck" he riped open my jeans and I saw his face crumble. He was looking at the tattoo I did a few days ago. It was still painful and he caught it with his ring. "Mrs Chibs" covered part of my scars. The look on Chibs face when I did it was worth all the pain I had to look on Happy's face broke my heart. He touched it carefully and I heard him curse under his breath.

He leaned on the wall, breathing heavily.

"I'm going nomad Ro"

"What?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"I can't stay here anymore pussycat. Not with you and him, not after that" he pointed to my tattoo. "You're Chibs' old lady and I shouldn't even look at you like that. And I'm crazy about you".

He laughed bitterly and moved his hand across his face and head. "I can't stop thinking about you. I thought, just once, just this once and maybe I'll get you out of my head".

I grabbed his hand, afraid. "Shit Happy, you can't go nomad. You belong here. Please".

"Let go Ro", he growled at me.

"No. Christ, you can't go", I squeezed harder and he kissed me again, this time desperately.

And I kissed him back, suddenly tired of the storm in my body and my head. I wanted him to go and leave me with Filip. And I couldn't let go. I unbuckled his pants and he eased me out of mine. I stroked him lightly, grazing his ass with my nails. He was gorgeous. And huge.

"Fuck you're beautiful", he said hoarsely and moved his hands up and down my hips, grabbing my ass and sliding in me. I pulled his shirt and he pushed mine and pressed his naked, tattooed chest on mine.

I wrapped my legs around his hips and he buried his face in my breasts, sucking my nipples, pushing in and out of me, fast and hard, his fingers digging in my flesh.

"Kiss me" he commanded and I did, orgasm stealing my breath. He followed, silently,with only a shiver,hand in my hair, clenching hard.

We got dressed in silence. He put on his cut and turned to face me. There was tenderness in his eyes I haven't seen before,but that teasing spark loved I was gone.

"I fucking love you,bitch" he kissed me once more and left.

I sat on the floor,sobbing and trying to get up when I heard the door again and a loud "hello" coming from the bar. I somehow managed to pull myself together,whipe the tears and return to the bar only to see two guys standing at the counter.

"Hello guys, what can I get you?"

"Beer would be nice". The younger one had an Irish accent and that made me wary immediately. I brought them their drinks and moved closer to the gun Chibs gave me months ago.

"So boys, what brings you here?"

"Business", the older guy briefly said and turned to the other one. They paid no attention to me and after finishing their drinks they paid and left.

That did nothing to put me at ease, so I decided to close for the day. The second I turned my back to the bar, a hand covered my mouth.

"Don't move bitch", the Irishman whispered pushing something, gun I guessed, between my ribs.

He showed me to the back room and grabbed me by the throat. It wasn't the gun he was holding but the knife.

"Sorry lass, but Teller's lady is already gone" he grinned "forked by his mamma, so it had to be you". He stabbed me in the stomach, gutting me out.

I screamed and he pushed me away, on the floor. I saw blood spreading around me, my stomach open. Through the tears I saw the younger man opening his phone and heard him leave a message.

"Hello Telford, if you want to say goodbye to your old lady, I suggest you make it quick. She's at the bar".

He turned around and squatted next to me. "Tell your man this is for Galen" He got up and then, as if he remembered something, squatted back and stuffed a business card in my pocket. "In case you don't make it".

Then they were gone, leaving me in the dark. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. I was going to die, Filip won't be able to help me. I cried, alone in the dark. I cried for Filip, for Happy, for myself and with every sob the pain got worse and after a while everything became a blur.

"Oh my God, Rowena!" I heard Flips voice from the distance. He grabbed me in his arms and I heard him calling me, crying and cursing and pleading. Someone else was in the room but I couldn't see who. I tried to talk, but I was so tired.

"Please Ro, please love don't leave me!"

"Galen" I managed to whisper and point to the pocket where the card was.

I heard him scream and tried to comfort him. "Shhh, its ok,Filip. I love you"

And then the light went out.

...

Bobby rushed into the bar to find Chibs kneeling on the floor, in a pool of blood, Ro in his hands, howling from pain. Tig was trying to calm him down but the Scot showed him off, growling and screaming like a madman.

"Jesus Christ!",Bobby cursed.

"Galen's men" Tig said and Bobby saw him crying too.

The growl coming from the door made both of them jump. Happy was standing in the room, his face a death mask. He showed Tig to the side and knelt next to Chibs, touching Ro's hair. The sound that came from him is something Bobby will remember for the rest of his life.

The Killer was crying.

THE END


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